A Beautiful Mess
by alwysdaydreamn
Summary: Edward was looking to start over when he moved to New York to stay with his cousin Emmett. Bella was looking for a whole new life when she met Alice. What happens when their two worlds collide, and an unexpected connection threatens to expose the truth?
1. Chapter 1

**BPOV**

"Hey Bella, its Alice…look I just wanted to let you know I'm going to be out late tonight. Jasper finally asked me out, so don't wait up…!"

I chuckled as I hit the delete button before my friends message could continue, cutting over the excited tone in her voice.

My dear friend and roommate hadn't had much luck in the romance department, but then again I wasn't one to talk. She seemed incredibly excited about going out with Jasper tonight, after stalking him around our office for weeks. Hopefully one of us would have luck in the 'action' department.

I bit my lip as I looked around the department, trying to narrow down the activity I hoped would take up most of my evening. Laundry Alice left on the couch for me to fold…or the articles I had to edit by Wednesday…Decisions, decisions.

Company had never been a need for me to occupy myself, which I owed to the absence of parenting when I was younger. Ever since my mom left when I was ten I felt like I was on my own; my dad choosing to divulge himself in work rather than spending time with me. So as soon as I hit the legal age of eighteen I was gone, suffering little repercussions from my abrupt leave. My father had called me once, about a week after I had arrived in New York but that conversation didn't get very far. I didn't mind though, I was quickly swept up in the rush of the city.

Alice had rushed into my life my first day in the city with the same flurry of excitement she always had. I remembered me running to try to catch the train and tripping over my own two feet, causing my body to slam into hers as she boarded the train.

"You OK?" She asked a smile on her face as she helped me up.

"I'm fine, feet are pesky things." I chuckled as I gathered the various toiletry items that had spilled out of my bag.

"Don't I know it," she chuckled as she handed me some things she had managed to gather up off of the floor. "Where are you headed?"

"Manhattan I think," I shrugged casually. "I haven't quiet decided here."

"Manhattan would be safer then anywhere else, that's where I live. Did you just move here or something? I could show you around?"

_Whoa,_ I thought. _ That's a crap load of energy._

"I just moved here, kind of on the brink. I don't really know where I'm going honestly."

"Well, why don't you come with me? I know you don't know me or anything, but it would give you a place to hang your hat so you don't end up wondering around the city all night?"

I looked at her; her brown eyes wide with excitement. She seemed innocent enough, leaving me think that her tiny and pixie like frame couldn't cause me too much harm. Besides, she did have a point. Wondering around a busy and unfamiliar city looking for a place to stay may not be the smartest way to go about doing things.

"If you don't mind, that would be great." I decided finally.

After that night, I never left. Alice turned out to have a rather nice and spacious apartment in Manhattan which led to me taking up the large spare bedroom across from hers. It turned out that Alice and I had a lot more in common then I thought, both sharing a love for the arts and a strong want to incorporate that love into our jobs. She ended up finding me an editing job at the New York Times, where she had been working there for the past three years as a photographer. I had settled in quickly, providing me the first sense of 'home' that I had had in years.

So why did I feel so antsy? I bit my lip as I paced back and forth across the hardwood floor of our dining room.

The shrill ringing of the phone erupted from its cradle in the kitchen, slicing through the silence of the empty apartment.

"Alice?" I asked as I hit the answer button.

"Bella what are you doing right now?" Alice shouted into my ear, trying to make sure she was heard over the loud music playing in the background.

"Standing in the dining room, trying to figure out what to do with myself why?"

"Come down to 'Bella Italia' with me! There's a wine tasting going on here tonight, and they have some amazing deserts."

"Aren't you supposed to be with Jasper?" I cringed as she continued to shout in my ear.

"I still am! We met up with Emmett and Rosalie; I think his cousin is coming too and…"

"Wait a minute, is his cousin male?"

"I'm not sure?"

"Sure you don't," I rolled my eyes. "I know what you're trying to do. You're trying to fix me up with him so he won't be there by himself, am I right?"

"Look Bella, I'm just trying to get you out of the house so you wont be sitting there working all night. Don't tell me that you're not because I know you've got your work spread out all over the place right now. Just come out, you don't have to hang around him or pretend to like him or anything. Just come out and visit with me! Besides, when was the last time you saw Emmett?"

Ah Emmett McCarty, my other welcomed surprise when I moved here.

Emmett lived two blocks away from our building, managing a small record label that took up the entire bottom floor of the two floored building he bought.

Alice had known him ever since she started her very first piece with the paper, covering a piece on upcoming influences in the art community. I could have sworn he was hoping we would get together during the first couple of times we had hung out; resorting to shameless flirting and cheesy pick up lines. I had found him completely obnoxious at first, thinking of him as one of those 'party boy' types. He proved me wrong after I had clearly laid down the law with him by providing me with the strongest friendship I had ever had; with the exception of Alice of course.

"You had to play the Emmett card huh?" I sighed.

"Of course, I know you couldn't say no to your other best friend." I could almost hear her smiling from the other end of the phone.

"Fine, I'll come. What kind of place is it?"

"You'll need to borrow one of the dresses in my closet; it's kind of a ritzy place."

I groaned loudly. Alice and I may be great friends, but I style of clothing couldn't be any more different. I preferred jeans and Chuck Taylor's; Alice preferred dresses and Jimmie Choo's.

"Stop it; they won't let you in here with jeans and those damn sneakers on. There's a dress code. Wear the black one, there's a pair of heels right below it in the closet that'll match."

"Alice…"

"Bella I'm not arguing with you, you need to get your tiny hermit behind out of the house. You will look fine and I swear no one will stare at you."

She always seemed to know what I was going to say before I said it and frankly it scared me sometimes.

"We are already here so hurry OK?"

"Alright, alright I'm going!" I huffed and hung up.

_Great, _I frowned as I sat the phone down on the kitchen counter and headed through the apartment into Alice's room.

I tried to panic as I slid my comfortable clothes off and inched the black dress Alice had already chosen for me over my skin.

"Oh Alice please don't make me do this," I said to my reflection as I looked myself over in the mirror.

Yet if I didn't except it I could only imagine the wrath of shit that Alice would lay upon me when I either didn't show or showed up in my usual. So with one last look at myself in the mirror I ventured out the front door and onto the busy cities streets.

Luckily the subway wasn't far from where we lived which made it easy for me to scurry across the busy street and down into the subway tunnel. Part of me was really dreading this evening; not only did I have absolutely no idea what Alice had in store for me…but I had to deal with that uncertainty completely out of element. The short ride on the train didn't provide any comfort, I was already getting looks from some of the guys scattered through out the train car.

As soon as the train car doors opened I bolted, making sure I got away from that uncomfortable atmosphere as quick as possible.

"Bella, you're here!" Alice exclaimed as I walked towards the restaurant. "You look fantastic!"

"Thanks," I said as I tried to not to pull the hemline of my dress down.

"Stop fidgeting." She said as she pulled me into the restaurant by my arm, "Wait until Emmett sees you! He so didn't believe that I got you in a dress!"

"Oh that's nice," I groaned. The thought of the reticule that would ensue wasn't sitting well with me at all.

"Bella Swan! Is that you?" Emmett McCarty pulled me into a tight hug once we approached the group, his large arms almost squeezing the wind out of me.

"The one and only," I smiled as I squeezed my friend tightly.

"You remember Rosalie?" Emmett motioned to the gorgeous blonde beside him.

"Of course, how could I forget?" I said as I hugged her as well. "It's good to see you again."

"You do look gorgeous Bella." Rosalie smiled as she let go of me. "Don't let this big lug tell you any different!"

"Thanks, it's nice to know that someone has my back."

"You need anything at all, you just tell me." Rosalie said as Emmett pulled her close.

"Alright, where in the hell is that cousin of mine? I'm ready to eat!" Emmett grinned; his chocolate brown eyes darted around the restaurant.

"He had to make a phone call." Alice frowned.

"Well whatever then. We will just have to get started without him." Emmett shrugged and led us inside the restaurant.

It was absolutely beautiful inside. Bowls of votive candles sat at the center of each one of the tables, illuminating the cream colored table clothes that covered the mahogany tables. The walls were a dark mahogany color, creating a sharp contrast to the light colors spread throughout the room.

"Nice, isn't it?" Alice asked as she came up beside me, guiding me towards a round table towards the center of the restaurant.

"It's beautiful. Thanks for inviting me out."

"Oh don't thank me yet, wait until you see Emmett's cousin." Alice winked at me and went to go sit on the other side of the table along side Jasper.

_She isn't going to stop is she?_ I groaned as I took the seat next to Emmett.

"Edward! Over here!" Emmett shouted, causing me to almost jump out of seat as he stood up.

_He had to show up eventually, didn't he? _I bit my lip nervously as I looked up.

It was all over at that point; the minute I laid my eyes on him I couldn't take them off.

He was tall and skinny, his skin pale and his hair a dark brown with brilliant streaks of bronze highlights through out it. A white collared dress shirt covered his chest, the welt built muscles pushing against the fabric. A grin crossed his lips as he noticed my staring, his green eyes never leaving mine.

"Bella, this is my younger cousin Edward." Emmett's hand rested on my shoulder, shooting me out of my day dream.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Bella." His voice flowed smoothly from his lips, the husky tone in his voice sent chills down my spine.

"Same to you," my eyes still wide as I managed to shake his hand.

"Emmett's told me a lot about you." He smiled as he looked down at our still intertwined hands.

"Yes, Bella is quiet the Journalist." Emmett chimed in; causing me to come out of the trance I was in.

"Not really, I just edit articles for the Times." I said as I dropped his hand quickly. Not too quickly I hoped.

"Well we all have to get our start somewhere." Edward said as he sat down on the other side of Emmett. "Isn't that right Emmett?"

Emmett nodded as he rested his arm on the back of Rosalie's chair, "Edward just moved here. He's going to be helping me get the business up and going. He and Jasper are working on a marketing idea to help bring some clients in."

_Impressive,_ I nodded.

"It's going to be huge." Jasper said from across the table. "We are definitely going to put Emmett on the map."

"I don't doubt it; you've always been good with that stuff Jasper." I managed a smile, trying not to look over at Edward.

"You're one to talk." Jasper nodded in my direction. "Bella is a creative genius all in herself. She's going to own the whole paper one day."

"Well I don't know about that."

"Hey don't ever sell yourself short." Edward said as took a sip of the wine the waiter poured for us. "You can do it, especially if you really want to."

"I don't know if I like the idea of working for someone else though." I said honestly. "I want to run my own magazine one day. Or at least run my own column. All I do all day is sit there and edit everybody else's stuff and I get so many ideas, and they end up going absolutely no where. It's incredibly frustrating"

"I know the feeling." Edward smiled. "I actually left a law firm in Seattle to come here."

"You did what?"

Edward chuckled at my shocked expression, pausing to pick my jaw up off the floor before he started talking again.

"I actually graduated from Washington State with a Bachelor's in law, and I ended up getting an internship at one of the best law firms in the country."

"And you left it?" I asked again.

"It wasn't the right fit for me. I knew that the minute I walked in the door there."

"That's amazing." I said as I leaned closer to him, completely disregarding Emmett who sat between us. "I can't believe you had the guts to do that."

"Sometimes you just have to take that leap of faith and hope it comes out ok."

"I wish I had guts like that."

"You do. They're in there somewhere." He grinned at me. "Sometimes it's buried in there; you just need the right motivation to find it."

"I guess I just haven't come across the right thing to inspire me."

"Or maybe you haven't met the right person?"

I stared at him, nervousness taking over me as I fell quiet. _What a flirt!_

"So Edward, have you had a chance to take a look around the city yet?" Alice piped in.

"Not really. I just got here a few days ago and I've spent most of that with Emmett."

"Well we need to fix that! If you guys are going to make it big in this city, you should know where you're going!"

I didn't like where she was going with this, she always got that smile on her face when she was up to something.

"Bella could show you around." She grinned.

_You sly bitch you._

"If she wouldn't mind, I think that sounds fantastic." He smiled at me, almost causing me to melt onto the floor.

"She wouldn't mind at all. Would you Bella?" Alice smiled at me, making her question seem to be more of demand than anything else.

"I…I guess." I stammered, looking away from him quickly.

I couldn't believe it. My best friend of two years had betrayed me, hooking me up with my friend's cousin without leaving me much of a choice. My raced all through out the dinner and the wine tasting that followed.

The room around me began to swirl as I downed the samples of wine in an effort to calm my overworked nerves, going through probably a bottles worth of samples in the hour that we walked around. Everyone else seemed to be following suite; although they settled on a bottle instead of hording the samples. I didn't see Edward sitting amongst them though which left me curious as to where he might have gone.

Why did I care?

Somehow I managed to keep myself upright as my hands pressed against the wall of the restaurant in an effort to guide myself to the door. It was too god damn warm in there.

"Whoa, where do you think you're going?"

_Oh god, it was him again._

"It's hot in there," I slurred.

"I bet it was." Edward chuckled; he reached out to stabilize me.

**EPOV**

"You smell good." She said to me as I wrapped my arms around her waist.

"Thank you." I chuckled as I propped her up against me. "You know you aren't supposed to brink the wine right?"

"Oh is that how you do these things? I must be doing it wrong." She huffed and tried to push herself off of me, her hands grasping at my shirt as she stumbled forward.

"I don't think you should move to quickly." I frowned as I reached to catch her once again.

"I'm fine." She huffed and pressed her hands against my chest firmly, managing to start walking away from me.

"Forgive me Bella, but I don't think that you are."

_God she's stubborn, _I sighed and ran to catch up with her as she stumbled down the sidewalk.

"Edward, just let me go home." She groaned as my hand caught her arm in an effort to get her to stop. "I didn't want to be here and you're just making it weirder for me to be here."

"Me? Why would I make it weird?" She continued walking, even with my arm wrapped securely around her waist.

"Because, I know what Alice is trying to do and frankly I want nothing to do with it." She slurred as her body heavy leaned heavily against mine.

I had to admit, having her this close was intoxicating. She smelled sweet, like strawberries. Her hair was soft against my cheek, her skin soft and warm.

_Focus Edward._

"What is Alice trying to do?" I asked finally.

"She wants me to get out more, and get some action."

I chuckled at the exaggeration of the word 'action' as she spoke, receiving a rather irritated look from her.

"It's not funny. I've had plenty of action in my time, just because it's been a while doesn't mean it won't ever happen again. Do you think so?"

"I…I…I guess not…"

"Oh god," she interrupted. "I need top lay down."

"Let me get us a cab, you need to get home."

We didn't have time to grab Alice or anyone else; she was growing greener by the minute.

I struggled to keep my grip on her as she fell heavy against my body, her eyes drifted closed.

"Come on damn it!" I huffed as several yellow cars rushed passed me, choosing not to stop even with me waving my hand in the air like an idiot.

Finally one of the taxis slowed to a stop in front of us, turning the light off on top of the car as soon as I managed to get us both inside.

"Is she OK?" The cab driver asked as he peered back at us through the rearview mirror.

"She's fine. Can you take us to Fourth and Jefferson please?"

The cabbie nodded, taking the tone in my voice as a sign for him to back out.

I sighed and let my head rest against the back of the seat, Bella still unconscious in my arms.

_What a beautiful mess she is._ I smiled as I looked down at her, my arms firming their grip around her.

She seemed so confident when I had met her earlier, standing her ground against my cousin. And the way she carried herself in that dress…god I couldn't stop staring. The black fabric clung to every curve of her body, accenting her chest as the strapless gown hugged her tightly. Yet it seemed that there was something unsettling beneath her beautiful surface.

It wasn't any of my business though was it? I am just supposed to get her somewhere safe where she can sleep it off right? Then why in the hell were we on the way to Emmett's loft?

"We're here sir," the cab driver grunted as he pulled up in from of Emmett's building.

"Thank you," I said and shoved a couple of bills out of his hand before helping Bella out of the cab.

I scooped her up into my arms once we were free from the car, deciding it would make life a lot easier for us both if I did all of the waking. A groan escaped her lips as I pulled her close, hugging her to my chest as I fried one hand to grab my keys out of my pocket.

The path inside was not an easy one; leaving me with juggling door and two flights of stairs before we finally made it inside Emmett's apartment. I managed to flick the lights on with my shoulder as I shut the door behind me, causing Bella to stir in my arms.

"Where are we?" She groaned, using her hand to shield the light from her eyes.

"We're at Emmett's." I said as I made my way to the couch and lay her body down across the soft cushions.

"I don't live here."

"I know." I smiled. "I couldn't think of anywhere else to go."

"I don't feel good," she said as her squinted up at me.

"I bet you don't, you had way too much wine tonight." I sat down on the floor next to the couch, leaning my head against the arm of the couch. "Do you want me to get you anything? Some water maybe?"

"No," she frowned as she looked over at me. "Anything else that I take in, is only going to come right back out."

"Alright then, no water it is." I leaned over here and pulled the blanket that was draped over the back of the couch over her.

"Thank you." she whispered as she pulled the blanket close to her.

"You're welcome."

"I'm sorry I acted like this, I definitely didn't want this to be your first impression of me."

"You're perfectly fine." I whispered as I reached up and stroked her cheek. "Everybody gets nervous sometimes."

Her eyes closed as my fingers touched the warm skin of her cheek, her head tilting in the direction of my hand. A content sigh escaped her lips, her breathing becoming smooth and steady.

"Where are you going?" She whispered as I started to stand up.

"I was going to call Emmett so they don't go looking for either or us."

"Don't leave me." She pleaded. "Talking to you is distracting me from the room that's spinning…"

I smiled and sat back down on the floor, resting against the couch as she scooted across the couch towards me.

"Thank you for being so nice to me." She whispered.

"I enjoyed spending time with you this evening." I said as my voice grew almost as quiet as hers.

"Goodness, even through my drunken stupor?" She asked as a gentle smile spread across her soft pink lips.

"Don't worry about that. Everyone drinks more when they're nervous."

"I am never drinking again." She sighed. "Do you think Emmett is going to come back tonight?"

"Probably not, Rosalie lives a lot closer to the restaurant then we do and he's been pretty damn smitten with her lately."

"Oh," she said and groaned as she rolled over on her back.

"I know that couch isn't the best in the world." I frowned. "I can take you home if you want."

"No please don't move me." She chuckled lightly as her hands rested on her stomach. "The room just stopped spinning, but every time I move it's like the nausea comes back in full force."

"OK, no moving then." I yawned as I stood up. "You can take my bed if you want?"

"You don't have to do that." She sat up slightly as she began to protest, but fell back against the couch cushion as her face went green again. "Don't trouble yourself because of me."

"You'd never be any trouble to be Bella." I smiled down at her. "Now come on, let's get you comfy."

"No you don't have to…" She quietly ended her sentence as I scooped her up in my arms, and held her close as I carried her into my room.

Her arms reluctantly slid off from around my neck as I sat her down on the edge of the bed, her brown eyes looked up at me.

"Are you OK?" I asked, my body still only inches from hers.

"I'm fine." She said and looked away from me quickly.

I nodded and walked into my closet, returning only a minute later with two articles of clothing.

"These might be a little big on you, but you should be able to sleep comfortably in them." I said quietly as I handed her the clothes.

"Thank you." She ran her fingers over my navy blue sweatpants.

"If you need anything else let me know." I said, shoving my hands in my pockets as I walked to the door.

"Edward, wait." She said suddenly, causing me to turn back around. "Would you mind staying? I just…I feel more comfortable when you're here."

"Whatever you need I will provide." I almost shocked myself by the other meanings that came along with that sentence.

"I'd like that, just so I have someone to talk to so I won't pay attention to the nausea." She stared at me as I stood in the doorway. "Although I might need some privacy so I can get changed."

"Naturally…" I blushed slightly and headed out the door, shutting it softly behind me.

I had no idea what had come over me.

A frustrated sigh escaped my lips as I leaned against the doorway, running a hand through my unruly hair.

I didn't normally handle situations like this in the manner that I was, but then again I had never been in this situation. It wasn't one night stand, no matter how much of an attraction I had towards her. It seemed like something much more genuine then that. It felt like she had a genuine want to have me there, like I was providing some sort of comfort by just being around her.

I couldn't deny it though…I was incredibly happy to hear that she wanted me around longer. I was guilty of the same thing, that same nagging want to be with her. But what was that feeling? And why was I feeling that way towards someone I just met?

"Edward?" Bella called and pulled the door open, causing my support to give way behind me.

A groan escaped my lips as I fell back, my body eventually meeting the carpeted floor of my room.

"I am so sorry!" Bella exclaimed, covering her mouth with her hands.

"It's OK." I chuckled as I hopped up quickly. "That wasn't exactly the best place to stand."

"I still feel terrible." She said, as she bit her lip nervously.

I smiled at the vulnerability of her nervousness. Her habit of biting her lip was oddly attractive, which only added on to attractiveness of seeing her in my clothing.

"Are you OK?" She asked as I continued to stare.

I nodded; looking away from her once I realized I was caught.

"Maybe you should lay down," she smiled as she climbed onto the bed.

_God don't say that._

"Hey, I'm here to take care of you remember?" I grinned and climbed onto the other side of the mattress.

Bella was already underneath my blankets by the time my head hit my pillow, the maroon fabric tucked close to her body.

"How are you feeling?" I asked as I rolled onto my right side so I could see her.

"As long as I don't move too quickly I'm OK." She yawned deeply.

"It'll pass by morning." I said, my fingers brushing a stray strand of her hair out of her face.

She smiled at me and moved closer until our faces were only inches apart, her eyes closing once her body was comfortable.

I continued to run my fingers through her hair as I watched her slowly drift off to sleep, a content sigh escaping her lips as her breathing became calm. I found myself becoming overtaken by sleep, the events of the night slowly began to catch up with me. My eyelids grew heavy, making it harder and harder for me to keep them open. I smiled as my eyes caught one last glimpse of Bella sleeping beside me before my eyelids closed for the last time that evening.

_And what a beautiful mess this is turning out to be._


	2. The Morning After Reposted

Thanks to all of those who have read so far!! Reviews are welcome!!

**BPOV**

A groan escaped my lips as my eyelids opened slowly, pain shooting through my head as the sunlight was aloud in. I shielded my eyes from the sun with my hand in an effort to get a look at my surroundings. The walls surrounding me where a dark shade of blue, while the white blinds still allowed a few rays of sunlight to come through. Light oak furniture was scattered around the room, piles of clothes littered the top of them. I squinted as I tried to focus on some of the articles of clothing on the dressing, realizing the shirts and pants that made up the pile weren't mine.

_Shit, what happened?_ My mind screamed as I attempted to sit up, an attempt that as quickly stopped a force that was wrapped around my waist.

My brown eyes grew wide as I looked down to see what was keeping me glued to the mattress. Edward Cullen lay next to me, sound asleep. I tried to calm my nerves as I allowed my body to fall back against the soft fabric of the mattress as my mind desperately searched for any soft of recollection of the night before.

I remembered going to the restaurant in that dress that Alice had forced upon me, creating one of the most embarrassing public outings I had ever experienced. I remembered the wine too, oh god the wine. All of the glasses of wine that I had that night had definitely provided the liquid courage I needed to flirt with the man that now lay in the bed next to me.

I thanked the powers that be that I as sill clothed, although that calm feeling vanished as I pulled the covers off me. The little black dress I had been wearing was gone, my body covered in a large white t-shirt and black sweatpants. I knew they were his, I could tell from the cologne that radiated from the fabric.

I bit my lip nervously as I carefully lifted his arm off of my stomach so I could climb out of bed unnoticed. I held my breath as I slowly set both feet down on the floor and pushed my body off of the mattress. He stirred as I stood up, stretching his legs out before rolling over so that his back was to me.

_Now what?_ I thought as I stood in the doorway to Edward's bedroom. I had no car, and I sure as hell wasn't going to go anywhere in Edward's lounge wear.

_Where in the hell was my dress anyway?_

I tiptoed around the room as I searched through the piles of clothing in an effort to find my dress, which allowed me to look through Edward's entire wardrobe.

Naturally my dress as in the last place I thought to look for it, which ended up being the small bathroom that was attached to Edward's bedroom. The black fabric lay across the marble counter top of the sink. Bits and pieces of the night before rushed back to me as I ran my fingertips over the silky fabric. I remembered the awkward stumble around Edward's apartment, and the embarrassment that spread over his face as he left the room so I could change. At least nothing happened, thank god.

He was incredibly attractive and easy to talk to, but I didn't know anything else about him. I didn't know if he was seeing someone or wasn't seeing someone, I wasn't sure if that was any of my business either. On that note, I decided that calling a cab would be my best option to avoid any future awkward moments that may lay ahead for me. I wasn't worried about anything he could have said or done, he seemed pretty level headed compared to my sloppy drunkenness. I also had a habit of running my mouth when I as overly intoxicated.

I slipped out of the comfortable clothes I had borrowed and struggled back into the confining fabric of that damn dress.

_Oh god. _ I frowned as I looked in the full length mirror that was nailed to the door, staring at the poster child for the 'morning after' look. My mascara was smeared, leaving large and dark circles under my eyes. My normally curly brown hair was a rat's nest on top of my head, leaving me unsure if I was going to be able to get a brush through that or not.

I managed to get Edward's hairbrush through my hair after a lot of effort and a strong arm on my part, making it look somewhat normal and under control. I took a deep breath as my palm pressed against the door, pushing it open slightly.

Edward's room was still quiet and still as I walked out into the room. my eyes glanced over at the bed, watching him sleep as I crept towards the door.

"Bella, where are you going?"

I froze as his deep voice drifted to my ears.

_Shit._ I thought, turning on the balls of my feet slowly so I could see him.

He was sitting up in bed, wrapping the cream colored sheets around him so only the pale skin of his chest was exposed. His bright amber eyes stared at me, while a hand ran through his hair which was a was a tangled mess of brown and bronze highlights.

**EPOV**

She stared at me with that deer in the headlights look, her eyes wide with shock and embarrassment. Her hand remained on the doorknob as she slowly turned to look at me, although her eyes only lasted on mine for a minute before shooting down towards the floor.

"I was just going to head out…" She said quietly.

She looked adorable as she stood before, completely embarrassed that I caught her during her escape.

"You don't have a car." I managed a grin, trying to keep it light so she would feel more at ease.

"I know, I was just going to call a cab just so you wouldn't have to wake up and handle me being here." She bit her lip as she looked don at the floor, her hand was still resting on the doorknob.

"Bella I don't mind you being here. You needed help last night." I said calmly, slowly crawling across the mattress until I sat at the end of the bed.

"I'm sorry." She blushed slightly as she recalled the night before. "I don't normally do things like that."

"It's OK like I said." I chuckled as I eyed her grip tighten around the doorknob. "You can relax, everything's OK."

"Sorry, I'm just kind of nervous I guess. I didn't know what to expect if I was still here when you woke up. I didn't know how awkward things would be. I didn't know if you were with someone…or not with someone…not that it's any of my business. I just didn't want you to get in trouble for me being here."

"You don't have to worry; we haven't been together since I moved here." I felt a tug at my heart as I spoke. "So don't worry Bella. Not that I'm saying that me bringing here was any sort of an hint that I want us to become romantically involved."

"Is that so, even if you ended up flirting with me all night?" She looked up at me, smiling.

"Forgive me; I was a little out of my element myself."

_Not exactly the response I was looking for._

"Well like you said, nervousness can spark unusual behavior." I shrugged, now feeling like a complete and utter idiot for my somewhat hopeful thoughts I had earlier this morning.

"Well, we should get you home." Edward said after a minute or two of uncomfortable silence. "I'm sure Alice is probably worried sick."

I just nodded and remained by the door, watching quietly as he fished some clothes out of the pile on his dresser and made his way into the bathroom.

_God what am I doing._ I groaned as soon as he shut the door behind him. _It's like I'm completely infatuated with someone I just met._

My hand pulled the door to his bedroom open quickly as a sudden urge to bolt shot through me. I gathered my purse off of his kitchen counter and slipped my shoes onto my feet before heading out the front door.

I immediately began shouting for a cab as my foot hit the last concrete step to his building, eventually succeeding in slowing down one of the yellow cabs that littered our city.

"Bella, where are you going?"

_Shit._ A groan escaped my lips as I reached for the door handle to the cab.

I glanced behind me to see Edward starting down the stairs, slipping a t-shirt over his head as he walked.

I couldn't find the words fast enough to give him any sort of an explanation as panic built up within me, causing me to jump into the cab as Edward closed in on me.

"Bella, what are you doing?" Edward exclaimed as he climbed into the cab just as the cabbie began to push his foot down on the accelerator. "I thought I was going to take you home?"

"I can get home by myself Edward, I am an adult." I mumbled as I pushed my body against the door of the cab in an effort to stay as far as from him as I could.

"I know, I just panicked when I came out of the bathroom and you were gone. I just wanted to make sure that you got home OK."

"I could have called you or something."

"You don't have my number." He grinned at me, knowing he had me with that comment. "Besides, you didn't say goodbye."

**EPOV**

I don't think I could ever get over that shocked, yet vulnerable look on her face. There was something incredibly attractive about it.

"I…I didn't know that would be such a big deal…" She stammered, running a hand through her wavy hair. "I'm sorry."

"Hey it's alright." I smiled, reaching out to rest a hand on her shoulder. "I just…well I don't know how to say this…I kind of didn't want to stop spending time with you so soon."

"I guess I had quiet an impression on you huh?" She said, as she shifted her gaze away from me as a nervous grin spread across her lips.

"I would say that you did." I tried to remain calm and my heart beat sped up so much it felt like it was going to burst from my chest. "I know that our first meeting was a little chaotic, but I kind of wanted to make it up to you. You know, see if I had a shot at making a second first impression."

"I think I should be the one trying to make it up to you given my drunken performance last night. There's just a lot going through my head right now, even if I do want to spend more time with you."

"What are you thinking about?" I asked, sliding across the seat so I could be closer to her.

"I don't know…I guess it's just a little bit of everything all at once." She shook her head as a nervous chuckle escaped her lips.

"Just start talking, it'll work itself out." I laughed in an effort to put her at ease.

"I want to spend more time with you too, even though it has been a little crazy during the short time we've met. Yet at the same time, I can't get what you said earlier out of my head. You technically belong to someone Edward, separated or not. It just doesn't feel right to me to hang around you like that. I already feel awkward for sleeping at your place last night."

_Of course, that's what I get for being honest. _I frowned, I had to go and open my mouth.

"So, what do we do?" I asked, suddenly feeling extremely awkward sitting next to her.

"I should just go home." She said quietly, spinning the white gold ring around that rested on her pinkie finger of her right hand. "I think that would be best."

"What happened to you showing me around?" I asked, taking my last shot at being able to save the situation.

She looked over at me, her usually brilliant brown eyes were dark and sad.

"Honestly Edward, I don't think I should. I already feel terrible for the things I said and did last night. I shouldn't have asked you to stay with me."

"Bella, I didn't mind any of it. If I thought it was going to effect of jeopardize anything I wouldn't have done it."

_Or would I?_

My heart sank as she bit her lip, letting her head shake from side to side.

_You failed. You fucking failed, you fucking idiot._

"I still feel that this would be best." Bella glanced out the window behind her. "This is my stop."

"Bella, please…" I started to protest but her hand quickly shot up in front of my face.

"Thank you for everything Edward." She smiled faintly and gathered her things before hoping out of the cab.

I sat glued to my seat as I watched her hurry towards the large apartment building, disappointment shooting through me as she headed into the building without looking back.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck._ I couldn't think of anything to do or anything that I could say to her that would make any bit of a difference. She seemed pretty content with the decision she had just made.

"Aren't you going to go in with her?" The cabby asked, gazing at me from the rearview mirror.

"No." I said as I collapsed against the back of the seat. "I'm not. I just needed to make sure she got home OK."

**BPOV**

_Why didn't I go back out there? Why?_

I clutched my purse and shoes to my chest as I watched the cab drive away with Edward still in the back seat. Awkward glances were being shot in my direction as various residents of our building passed in and out of the turnstile doors I was looking out of, my hair a controlled mess and my dress wrinkled against my body.

I was surprised by the amount of disappointment that sat within me as I stared at the now empty street in front of my building.

I was making the right decision wasn't I? He belonged…well…still belonged to someone. I shouldn't have stayed, shouldn't have been there.

_Then why did I want him so damn bad?_ I sighed as images of his smooth face and brilliantly tussled hair began to creep into my mind.

"Bella Swan, where in the world were you last night?"

I turned as a sudden and angry outburst erupted from the far end of the lobby.

Alice stood in front of the mailbox with a pile of our mail in her hand. She looked pissed. Of course she had good reason to be, she hadn't spoken to me or heard anything from me since the bottles of wine had started pouring the night before.

"I was scared shitless!" She huffed as I approached her, crossing her arms in front of her chest as her foot tapped angrily on the marble floor. "Where did you go?"

"Don't give me that shit Alice." I frowned. "You were just as drunk as I was. You didn't know where in the hell you were, never mind where I was!"

She stared at me; her usually brilliant brown eyes were dark and cold. I knew I had won as the silence between us grew.

"Fine, I guess you have a point." She huffed, continuing to tap her foot on the floor. "Your boss called this morning by the way."

"Don't you mean OUR boss?" I grinned as she handed me the pieces of mail with my name it.

"We have an assignment." She sighed and shut our mailbox door before heading towards the large elevators.

"Why do I have a feeling you are going to enjoy this one?" I asked, eyeing Alice's grin cautiously.

"We are doing a piece on upcoming musical influences and James wants us to start with someone local."

"Like who?" I asked as a lump began to develop in my throat. I had a bad feeling about this.

"It's Emmett." She smiled at me. "We're doing a piece on Emmett and Edward's efforts to start their own label."

I just stared at her; the initial shock of what she just told me hit me like a ton of bricks.

"Are you serious?" I managed to choke out.

"Yea, of course I'm serious." She said slowly, a look of total confusion washed over her. "Why do you look like you're going to throw up?"

"You remember when you asked where I was last night?" I paused, watching her nod slowly. "I was with Edward."

"Oh my god you spent the night with him? You little sneaky devil you, I didn't know you had it in you!" I cringed as Alice's excite squeal echoed off of the wall.

"Nothing happened." I mumbled as I fought the urge to roll my eyes. "I three sheets to the wind so I had no idea where I was."

"Then how did you know nothing happened?"

"He just doesn't seem like that kind of guy." I shrugged, looking away from her. "He just stayed with me until I fell asleep."

"I doubt it. You smell like a guy. Also, if Edward was as straight edged as you make him out to be then he wouldn't have slept with you."

"Alice, we didn't sleep together." I sighed, completely annoyed with my friends behavior. "He slept next to me."

"See, now the story changes when you get backed into a corner like this."

"Whatever." I mumbled, hugging my arms to my chest. "Do you have a point?"

"I think you like him."

"I think you're skating on thin ice." I said, hurrying out of the elevator as soon as the doors opened up to our floor.

"It's OK, you can admit it. It's OK." Alice chided as she followed a few feet behind me.

"You're an asshole Alice." I muttered as I fumbled for my keys.

"Hey I'm just going by what I see. You come rolling in here looking like a hot mess and I'm supposed to sit here and think nothing happened?" She chuckled, hoping onto the couch as soon as we were inside the apartment.

"Nothing happened. He's seeing someone Alice, so drop it." I said over the loud clanking of my keys hitting the glass top of our dining room table. "They're separated or something like that."

"They're separated? What in the fuck does that mean?"

"Drop it Alice."

"I'm not, and I will tell you why." Alice said, popping her small head up over the back of the couch. "You should see the look you get on your face every time you hear or say his name. You're completely infatuated with him."

"Drop it Alice, seriously. I am done having this conversation with you" I warned, turning to face as I reached the doorway to my room.

"She's probably cheating on him." Alice hollered after me. "If she isn't willing to be here and around him, then she probably thinks he isn't worth her time."

"Alice, not everything is as scandalous as you make it out to be."

"Not yet!" Her loud voice echoed through the living room. "We'll see how long you two can stay away from each other with the amount of time you're going to be spending with him. I bet you it'll happen Swan, and in fact I can guarantee it."


	3. Awkward

***Thank you so much to everyone who read, I am glad to that so many people are taking the time to look at my work!! Pleas don't forget to review, and thank you to all of those who have so far!

Big thanks as well to my Beta 'myimmortal' for taking the time to look over my work and for the willingness to help me develop this story into the best it can be! Thank you!

BPOV

"So I have some great news." Alice said as she strolled into my office.

"You know I don't like it when you say that." I mumbled, not looking at her as I typed away at my computer. "You never bring good news when that phrase comes out of your mouth."

"Well you're right there." She dropped a manila folder onto my desk before plopping down in one of the plush chairs that sat on the opposite side of my desk. "James is choosing to bring someone else on for this piece we are working on, apparently someone to edit our articles as they come in since we will have way too much."

"Funny, for some reason I thought that an editor for the paper meant…I don't know…that maybe we were supposed to edit things for the paper." I frowned and let my hands drop to my lap as I looked over at my friend. "Did you find anything out about this new person?"

"Well SHE comes highly recommended apparently, she's from some hotshot school in Seattle." Alice motioned to the folder that still sat in the center of my desk. "James gave us a copy of her file so we'll be 'ready to welcome her' when she gets here."

I chuckled at the expression on her face as I picked up the file and began to leaf through the pages.

Alice was right, she was smart. Tanya was her name apparently, her age only a year shy of mine. Her recommendations built her up as someone kind and hardworking, but we would see about that.

"Well there's nothing we can do about it I guess." I shrugged and threw the folder back onto my desk. "Guess we will just have to wait and see what happens."

"Bella, there's a call on line one for you." Jessica, my receptionist sang as she walked by the open door to my office.

"I'll leave you too it." Alice said as she stood up and headed to the door. "Grab me when you go to get some lunch okay?"

I nodded, waving at her as I picked up the phone and selected line one which was flashing on the phone in front of me.

"Bella Swan."

"Bella Swan, Edward Cullen." That all too smooth yet husky voice flew to my ears, causing me to sit up from the slouching position I had been sitting in.

"Yes Edward?" I asked, trying to remain calm as I spoke.

"Did you get my messages?"

_Of course I did._ I chuckled to myself as I eyed the balled up pieces of paper that sat in my trash can.

"No not yet. I've been in meetings all day today."

_You're such a liar._

"Are you free today?" He seemed completely un-phased by my obvious attempt to blow him off.

"Not really, I have more meetings to go once I get off of the phone with you."

_Lying again! Why are you so good at lying?_

"Really, is that so? Your receptionist just told me you were free after eleven this morning."

_Edward Cullen, you are one sneaky bastard._

"I don't know how I feel about you snooping around my schedule and harassing my receptionist."

"You're in high demand, what can I say?" I could hear him smiling through the phone.

"That from what I heard, you were unavailable?"

_Check…and…Mate._

**EPOV**

She thought she had me, I could tell by the slight spike in confidence in her voice.

"We're not together remember?" I shot back, trying to remain as calm as I possibly could.

"You're separated right? I think that's how you put it."

_Oh I might have underestimated this one._

"If you want to be technical about it then yes, you could say that."

"So that would mean that you're taken and you shouldn't be asking women out to have lunch with you?" Her tone was growing more irate as she spoke, while her fingers pressed just a tad bit harder against the keys of her keyboard.

"Bella we aren't really together anymore. I haven't spoken to her since I moved out here."

"Edward, you are either with someone or you're not."

_Good point._

"Well let me pitch lunch to you this way…how about you come to lunch with me and take on that tour of the city that Alice signed you up for?"

"I think she was using that as a ploy to get us together." She sighed. "Besides, that's not going to work considering the situation you are in right now."

"Well regardless, it's still working and that says something right?"

She sighed heavily into the phone, her typing stopping as well.

"If I do this will it make you happy, and will you stop harassing both my staff and myself?"

"That could be a possibility." I chuckled, drumming my fingertips on my desk. "It would better your chances anyway."

"Fine, I'll do it." She huffed, causing my hopes to soar. "Meet me in front of my building. I'll drive so you won't get lost."

I thanked her and jotted her number down just as quickly as she spoke it before she managed to rush off of the phone.

As soon as I hung up with her I shut my laptop down, looking around my office to make sure I didn't leave everything in total chaos.

Emmett was slouched down in his desk chair, tossing crumpled pieces of paper into the basketball net that hung over his trash can as I walked past the glass panes that made up the front of his office.

_You're such a sucker. _I chuckled as I watched him continue to throw the paper balls as he back was to the conference call speaker that was placed in the center of the desk behind him, completely disregarding the conversation that was going on.

He frowned at me once he realized I had been standing there staring at him, a huge grin on my face. He grabbed a black marker off of his desk and start scribbling on one of the pieces of paper he had in his lap. He tossed the pen back onto the desk and pressed the piece of paper against the glass pane so I could read it.

**You suck Cullen.**

_Nice._

I proceeded to press my middle finger to the glass before waving at him and continuing my way down the hallway. After my shenanigans, I had about ten minutes to get there before Bella would leave without me.

My black and shiny Volvo stuck out like a soar thumb as I walked out into the large parking lot that housed all of the cars for our building. Even though it wasn't even a year old, it was still easy to spot amongst the shinier and more expensive toys that were lined up in their spaces.

It still did the job though, no matter how much Emmett teased me for having a car that was 'inferior' to his Cadillac Escalade.

The streets of New York City were still maddening to me, no matter how much I tried to be out there navigating my way around. I just couldn't get used to the fast paced environment, which often left me longing for the calm environment of home.

It wasn't really home to me though, not anymore anyway.

The lonely and some what depressing thoughts left my mind as I pulled into the valet parking area of the New York Times, my eyes falling onto a rather irritated looking Bella. She was still just as beautiful as I remembered. The sun reflected off of her pale skin, making the red highlights stand out amongst her dark curls. Her brown eyes eventually found mine and an immediate look of irritation rushed over her delicate features. There was no wave or any sign that she was happy to see me as she trudged over, knocking of the passenger side window instead of reaching for the door handle.

"There's visitor parking around the back, leave the car here and they'll take it back."

"Why don't I just drive?" I asked, causing her to frown. "I have to get used to this big city driving anyway."

"If you say so." She mumbled and climbed into my car. "It's easy to get to anyway. It's just three blocks up and take that third right."

"Well that sounds easy enough." I nodded and slowly eased the car off of the curb. "Does this place have good food?"

"They're food is probably the best in New York." She smiled.

Ah there it was. That smile I had fallen for as soon as I met her that night. Something inside of me hoped that that sudden gesture of friendliness was a sign of weakness and that more of it would show as or time together went on. I was hoping I was beginning to break down this barrier that she had put up ever since she woke up in my arms just two days prior. It hadn't been the most stupendous first impression of first impressions, but it had sure made a mark on me.

"Edward you just missed the turn you were supposed to take." Bella chuckled, nudging my arm with her elbow.

"Shit, I'm sorry. Should I turn around?"

"We'd have to go up another block." She shrugged. "We just have to go around Central Park."

"I say we go through the park." I said as I flicked my turn signal on, my eyes darting around for the first available spot.

"I only have an hour for my break Edward, it will take that long just to walk through the park and walk back." She huffed in protest as her head fell against the headrest, her arms folded against her chest.

I heard an annoyed sigh escape her lips as I pulled the car into a vacant spot along the outer edge of the park. A smile crept onto my lips as I switched the car into park, not turning to look at her until the keys were out of the ignition. The annoyed look on her face was extremely attractive, causing the urge to reach over and kiss her grow.

"What Edward?" She sighed. "What are you looking at?"

"Nothing, I guess I was zoning out for a minute." I said, my gaze casting immediately to the steering wheel in front of me.

"Well are we going to actually get out of the car and get something to eat? I do have a job to get back to, remember?"

"There's more to life than work Bella." I smiled and popped my door open. "Besides, you're doing a story on me and Emmett right? So just consider this an interview."

"You're slick Cullen." She chuckled as she climbed out of the car. "I have to hand it to you, I am pretty impressed."

"Just a brief moment of genius, I suppose." I shrugged and started a slow walk down the walking path.

"So now that your brilliant plan has worked, what is your next move going to be?" She asked, shoving her hands in her pockets a she walked beside me.

"I have no plan or any other sort of motivation by bringing you out here Bella."

"Then why the strong need to pursue and secure a hang out with me?"

"I don't know honestly." I shrugged. "I enjoyed talking to you that night and I've been hoping there would be a chance for that again."

"I'm not that interesting Edward." She chuckled, her head turning from side to side. "I'm a workaholic with a dwindling social life. You on the other hand, have a far more interesting life then I do."

"I wouldn't go that far, I had a pretty boring life before I came here."

"Now look at you though! You're a successful entrepreneur at twenty two and you have no where to go but up. There's something else though, some sort of mystery about you."

"Not really." I shrugged, causing her to frown. "I don't have any sort of secret agenda or anything."

"That's disappointing." She grinned, nudging me lightly with her elbow. "Here I thought you were the present day James Bond. I have so many things I want to ask you."

"Well feel free to ask! You are here for an interview aren't you?"

"Well we might have to consider some of my questions to be off the record. The work stuff sure, but I'm curious about a lot more than what you do for a living."

"Is that so?" I asked with a big smile on my face.

"Don't you dare let you're thoughts go there Cullen." She frowned, letting her arms fold across her chest in defense.

"I wasn't thinking about that at all Bella." I said calmly. "It just made me happy to hear that…you know…like it was good to hear that the feel is mutual."

"I suppose." She said, the look on her face clearly showing that she wasn't fully convinced.

"I know you've told me about work and everything, but I'm just so curious about your reason to take the gamble that you did. I mean, you just dropped everything and came out here to try out being self employed with Emmett."

"Well of course it was a gamble, but sometimes life gives you the option to jump before you walk and that's what I had to do." I sighed as I stared down at the smooth, black asphalt that made up the walking path. "That road wasn't always the smoothest though."

"It never is." She sighed heavily, running her pale hands running through her dark curls.

"Why do I have a sense that I can relate to you a lot more then I thought?"

"I'm guilty of the spontaneous move myself." She said, her voice carrying an embarrassed tone as she spoke. "I just lucked out with how things ended up for me."

"Why do you say that?" I was almost afraid to ask. She was finally beginning to open up to me, and I didn't want to do anything to ruin that.

"I came from a somewhat broken home. My mother left when I was younger and my father chose to ignore his problems by working instead of being a father. I had no support and that just left me feeling like I was in a rut. So one day I decided a I had enough and I packed everything up and just hopped on a plane and here I am."

"No place to stay, no job, no nothing?"

She chuckled, shaking her head from side to side. "You'd be surprised what you would do if you once you realize you've absolutely had enough of something."

"I'd know more about that then you think." I muttered, glancing down at the pathway as we walked.

"Does this have anything to do with the mystery woman you have mentioned to me before?"

"Yes it has something to do with her. Her, the one I am separated from." I said, placing a heavy emphasis on the word 'separated.'

She rolled her beautiful brown eyes as I spoke, putting a face to the irritation she had expressed over the phone to me earlier.

"So what's the deal with her then? Did she come with you? Is she planning on coming with you if she didn't?" She stopped her walking and her questioning as she watched a somewhat panic look rush over my face. "Of course if it is just none of my business you can tell me to shut up."

"No you're fine." I said calmly, and ran a hand through my unruly hair. "It's just one of those things that isn't easy to talk about."

"Well you have forty five minutes to try and get it out." She chuckled and glanced down at the Movado watch on her wrist. "I'm just kidding, we'll just consider this the off the record portion of the interview."

**BPOV**

He looked petrified, and honestly that made me feel terrible. He stood there staring at me like I had backed him into a corner that he was never going to be able to find his way out of.

I stood motionless and completely silent as I watched him walk off of the smooth path and into the soft green grass. He still carried himself with a form of confidence, despite the violent storm of panic that was building up inside of him. He didn't look back as he walked away from me, heading on a straight course for large fountain that rested in the middle of the park.

"Edward, I'm sorry." I stumbled as I tried to keep up with him, my heels not fairing well against the soft ground beneath my feet. "I should have minded my own business…I…."

"Bella you're fine." He said, interrupting my nervous rant as he turned to face me. "I'm just trying to figure out the best way to explain it. The whole thing wasn't as black and white as I would have liked for it to be."

"Well we don't have to talk about it." I huffed as I collapsed onto a bench that sat only a foot or two from where he was standing. "There are plenty of other things that are far less awkward. For instance, what's your favorite color? What's your favorite song? What's…?"

"Bella stop it." He laughed as he walked over towards me, choosing to remain standing in front of me instead of taking the empty seat to my right. "I just haven't really thought about it since I came out here."

"So, what happened?" I blurted out a little too quickly in an effort to fight off the blanket of silence that was looming over us.

He stared at me for a moment with a look that almost made it seem like he was amused by my sudden and bold outburst.

"To make a long story short…" He sighed heavily and met my curious gaze. "This is off the record right?"

"Edward…"

"Alright, alright, I was just kidding." He smiled at my annoyed expression. "Well…basically we just started growing apart. I was developing my career while she was completely engulfed in hers. We never had time for each other. Sure we tried to make it work, but I think I was a little more committed to the idea then she was."

"So what is with the whole 'separated' status then?"

"Sometimes when you love someone Bella, you tend to hang on even though you know you shouldn't. I still care for her greatly and I don't know… it's just not as easy as I hoped it was going to be."

I nodded in an effort to let him know that I was trying to understand. Truth was, I had never experienced anything like this for myself. I chose to remain quiet as he continued, deciding it was best to leave my inexperience unexpressed.

"I know this is all making me seem like a fool, but a part of me hopes that she is going to decide to come out here with me one day." He looked down at me, a sad expression darkened his gorgeous green eyes. "I can still see that angry look on her face when I had told her I was moving out here, I don't think I have ever seen someone that pissed off before."

"You can't get mad at someone for wanting to follow their dreams Edward." I frowned, taking a deep breath before continuing. "That's just being selfish. I mean there is always a way to compromise, but to me it seems like with her…that it's either her way or the highway."

"You don't put things lightly do you?"

"I'm a reporter Edward, I may be the queen of BS sometimes but I sure as hell don't believe in sugarcoating."

"I can see that." He managed a smile as he continued to look down at me.

_Those eyes..._

"So what should I do about this?" He asked, finally choosing to take a seat next to me.

"I don't think you should sell yourself short." I shrugged. "I think if she truly wanted to make an effort to make the two of you work she would be doing so in some way shape or form."

I grew silent as I watched him contemplate what I had just told him, his gaze turning away from me to the fountain that sat in front of us.

"So what's your deal wise one? You're sitting here figuring out my life, yet I don't think I know anything about yours."

"I haven't had much time for the whole relationship thing since I moved out here." I bit my lip as my mind sought out a way to explain what I was thinking. "Things just kind of took off for me after I met Alice and she got me my job at the paper."

"That's a shame. Seems like a waste to me."

"You're one to talk." I smirked.

"So what do we do about this entire thing Swan?"

"Feed me." I said, causing him to laugh. "I am offering no more advice until I get something to eat."

"Well we still have quiet a walk to the restaurant." He chuckled. "Do you think you can make it?"

"You may have to carry me." I smiled as he looked over at me.

"Then carry you I shall." He hurried off of the bench and immediately reached down to scoop me up in his arms once he stood up.

"Edward, I didn't really mean it!" I hollered as he threw me over his shoulder and headed back towards the walking path.

"Your lack of food will just slow us down." He laughed, holding onto me tightly. "I'm hungry too you know!"

"I'll keep up, I promise." I breathed, my lungs searching for air as I laughed. "Put me down!"

"Alright, you win." He said as he set me down on the soft grass. "If you don't then you're buying."

"If you insist, then you have a deal." I smiled and slipped my shoes off of my feet before shooting off down the walking path.

"Oh so now you've resorted to cheating?" He hollered and scrambled to chase after me.

_Damn you and your long legs!_ He was already gaining on me as we raced through the park, causing people to turn and stare as we sped by them.

"Edward!!!" I screamed as I felt his arm wrap around my waist, pulling me towards him in one swift movement.

"You cheated my dear!" He laughed and threw me back over his shoulder. "For that you must be punished."

"Oh no, don't you event think about it!" I hollered as he walked back towards the fountain, stopping as I hovered only a foot or so above the water.

"You're the one that wanted to be carried!" he laughed and let me slip off of his shoulder some, closing the gap between me and the water by a few inches.

"I take it back! I swear I will walk!" I could barely get the words out I was laughing so hard.

"Do you promise?" He asked, dipping me a little bit closer top the water.

"Edward if you dunk me in that water, I am going to have one hell of a time explaining what happened to my boss."

_Check, and, mate. _

Edward's laughter eased as he set me back down on the soft grass, taking the liberty of straightening my suit jacket for him.

"Sorry." He grinned, shoving his hands in his pockets as he looked at me.

"You're such a punk Edward." I frowned and passed my hands to his chest and pushed him away from me.

A grunted escaped his lips as the back of his heel caught the wall of the fountain, the force of my hands sent him flying over the edge.

"Shit!" I gasped, my hands clasping over my mouth as I peered over the side. "Are you Okay?"

"You…are…in/…so…much…trouble!" He breathed and shot up out of the water.

**EPOV**

She was fast, I'd give her that.

My jeans and collared shirt clung tightly to me as I ran after her, the cold air finding its way to my skin through the soaked fabric.

"Edward, I'm sorry!" She breathed as she ran. "That was a complete accident!"

"That may be, but you are still going to get it!" I huffed, pressing my feet harder against the ground in an effort to gain some speed.

"Edward please don't, I'll behave!" She begged as she tried to divert off of the straight path we had been running along, making it easy for me to get a firm grasp on her shirt. "You are so cold!"

"That's what you get!" I laughed and pulled her close to me, pressing her against my cold body.

"God that's cold! She shivered. "I surrender!"

"Alright, I'll settle for that." I said and began to loosen my grip.

"Edward, I am getting completely soaked."

"That's the idea." I smiled as I looked down at her. "I'm trying to share the love!"

"Edward please let me go." Bella groaned, clearing beginning to get irritated.

I had to admit; every time she pouted at me like that I had the strongest urge to lean down and kiss those full pink lips. I couldn't explain why I was so attracted to her, I just was.

Everything from her fragile confidence to her playful humor caught my attention. I was hooked. I had her too. She was wrapped securely in my arms with her chest pressed tightly against mine, her lips so close I could almost taste them.

She remained oh so still as I began to lower my lips towards hers, although I couldn't tell if it was out of fear or shock of what I was about to do. I wanted to kiss her though, that want providing a strong remedy for the nervousness I was feeling.

I couldn't though.

As quickly as the confidence had come to me, it vanished as I threw the wrench of uncertainty into the situation. A billion different memories began to flow through my mind, causing me to release y grip on her.

"We should go." She said quickly as I released my grip on her.

I suddenly felt extremely awkward for the situation I had put myself in. I back away from her without being able to say anything, although I am sure that the look of panic on my face was saying enough.

"Bella…I'm…"

"No Edward." She said, putting her hand up in an effort to stop me. "We should go."


	4. Taxi Cab Confessions

**BPOV**

_God I am not in the mood for this today._ I huffed, letting the back of my head rest against the cool metal wall of the elevator. I let my eyes fall closed as I felt the elevator began to move, hoping the ride would last long enough for me to grab a nap.

I had been working like a mad woman ever since that day in the park with Edward, almost doubling the hours I usually worked. James loved it of course, having me at him beck and call thirteen hours a day as apposed to eight meant double the work. However Alice didn't buy it. She knew that this sudden drive I had to work wasn't due to any sort of career devotion; she knew I was trying to forget. Yet another wonderful character flaw of mine-work until you forget, and once you forget it's no big deal. I couldn't admit that it was working by any means, but as long as I could kid myself into thinking that it was working…that is all that mattered to me.

I had no idea what my problem was…no scratch that, I knew EXACTLY what my problem was. He was my problem, which was a problem all in itself. Sure it's confusing, but welcome to my life as I know it.

So not only was I dealing with the complications of my day to day life, but now I had to deal with the newbie and the amount of attention she was going to need. It was more irritating to me then it should be, but for more than what I mad mentioned earlier. Alice and I had developed a system. We managed to divide the work up so that I had the minimum amount Edward exposure. It was her idea of course- but after the hours I had spent bitching and whining over what went wrong that day and the reasons behind it…could you blame me?

A feeling of dread built up within me as my eyes shot open at the light 'ding' of the elevator. The floor was bustling with people rushing back and forth like usual, the sounds of phones ringing and people talking almost created a white noise around me.

"Bella, James told me to tell you that you're late." Jessica said as she handed me my messages, offering me a supportive smile.

"The meeting doesn't start for another ten minutes, what in the hell is his problem?" I frowned, barely glancing at the small pieces of pink paper as I leafed through them.

"Miss Tanya arrived early and James didn't want to keep her waiting apparently." Jessica said, rolling her pretty blue eyes.

"Why do I have a feeling that I'm going to end up kissing this girls ass when she's supposed to be kissing mine?" I snorted, causing Jessica to laugh.

"Good luck!" She called after me as I headed down the hallway to the conference room that sat just across the hall from my office.

"Finally decided to join us I see!" James flashed his freshly bleached teeth at me from the far end of the conference table.

I smiled and quietly took a seat next to Alice, deciding that none of the thoughts that were flowing through my head were close to being work place appropriate.

Tanya was apparently blonde, very blonde and well…perfect. Her face was smooth and perfect, not an imperfection across her skin. She had powerful brown eyes too, which kept darting in my direction as James talked.

I had only talked to her twice on the phone since James had broken the news to us that she would be joining the team, which was provided my high desire for avoidance. Part of me felt bad for thinking this way towards someone I hardly knew. She seemed nice enough, and was pretty bright from what I had read in her file. She even spoke with a sense and feeling of grace, her brown eyes glowing with excitement as she spoke of her life and the reasons that brought her here. Something about being a promising Grad student and about a fiancé of some sort, or I think that's what I heard. It was all incredibly romantic, and I was completely uninterested. James finally got her to stop talking about an hour or so later, finally freeing me from my chair with a single handshake and well wish for her career here.

_Thank god that's over, now its lunch time. _I smiled as I scurried out of the meeting room before James had a chance to grab me and assign me some overly irritating task.

"Hold on a minute Swan!" Alice's voice boomed down the hallway, causing my hurried pace to come to a halt about half way down the hallway.

"Come on Alice, that meeting wasn't enough torture? What is it?"

"I wanted to grab you before you ran off." She smiled as she hurried down the hallway after me. "Tanya's having lunch with James so that frees the both of us up. I already called Jasper and he is going to meet us downstairs."

_My friend: the organized yet spontaneous planner._

"You must have been reading my mind." I almost meant that literally, sometimes her accuracy scared me.

"Nope, I can just hear your stomach from here." She grinned as she kept walking past me towards the stairs. "Now hustle Swan, I'm hungry."

"Well you're something else." I chuckled as I quickly followed her down the stairs.

Alice almost caused me to trip over her as she her feet stopped moving with the loud beeping of my phone.

"Well you aren't you little miss popular today." She said as she tried to glance at the screen of my phone. "Who is it?"

"None of your business there little miss smarty pants." I snorted as I turned away from her. "God, you have got to be kidding me."

"Who is it?" She asked, her curiosity only fueling her need to get a better look at my phone.

"Not any one that is worth mentioning, now let's go." I muttered and continued down the stairwell.

"It was Edward, wasn't it?" She seemed almost excited about the misery that man brought upon me. "What did he say?"

"Alice, it doesn't matter OK? I'm not dealing with him, and that decision I made was final."

"You better stop ignoring those signs Bella." Alice called after me as I hurried away from her in an effort to avoid the awkward conversation that lay before me. "It will come back and slam into you one day, and at that point I will be entitled to an 'I told you so'!"

"Whatever." I muttered and pushed through the heavy glass doors.

She could wait for Jasper all by herself if she was going to keep talking like that. I mean why cant anybody else see that…"

I felt my body began to tilt backwards as my body met a solid force as soon as I had made my way outside.

"Well look who it is!" An all too familiar voice landed on my ears as a hand reached out to stabilize me.

_Are you kidding me?_

There, looking me straight in the eyes while his hands rested on my waist was Edward Cullen.

"Guess I didn't have to resort to trying to call you, I knew I would run into you eventually." He smiled down at me.

"If you don't back off I will file a restraining order, I'm not kidding." I wrestled out of his grip and headed down the sidewalk, my hand shooting up in an effort to hail a taxi.

"I'd stop trying to come around here if you'd give me the time of day." He said, stepping in front of me and blocking my view of the street.

"What do you want exactly Edward? I mean I see you enough with all of the press stuff we're doing. Isn't that enough?"

"I was kind of hoping for something outside of the work environment." He said, smiling as one of the yellow cars came to a halt just a few inches in front of us.

"Wait, what about Alice and Jasper?" I asked as he motioned for me to get inside the cab. "I'm supposed to be going to lunch with them."

"I already called Alice before I ran into you. She's going to wait for Jasper and meet us there."

"What is with you Cullen?" I asked angrily as I ducked inside the cab. "Why do you feel you need to invade my life as much as you are?"

"It was the only way I could get you to talk to me." He said as he climbed in next to me. "I think we need to figure out what's going on here before this just keeps getting worse."

"What are you talking about Edward? I thought we had already figured this out." I sighed, rubbing my fingertips against my temples. I was getting a headache.

"Do you honestly believe that?" He asked, his voice dripping heavy with disbelief. "I understand that you are saying that you cleared everything up, but I can sit here and say that the feeling is mutual."

**EPOV**

She just stared at me, a mixed look of hatred and frustration crossed over her face.

"Well what more do you want from me then?" She said finally.

"I want to know what it is about me that is bothering you so damn much."

She continued to stare at me, remaining silent. It was almost like she was expecting me to go on, like there was some underlying thought that I still wanted to get out. I didn't have anything else to say though, leaving me silence as a way to express that to her.

"Edward I've already gone over this with you and honestly I don't feel like going through all of it again."

"I know what you've told me, but I want to know what is REALLY wrong with you." I said calmly. I could feel the stress rise within her from across the cab, and I knew that once she got angry enough…she wasn't going to have anything else that I would say to her. I had cornered her into a place that she couldn't get out of, and the last thing I wanted to do was make her feel like I had backed her into a corner.

"Edward, honestly…" She paused as a cough escaped her lips, the words literally getting caught in her throat. "I honestly can't have this conversation with you right now."

"Well I think we need to." I frowned as I looked over at her. "I think we need to so we can release at least some of the tension that is going on between us though."

"There's no tension Edward." She said quickly, a slight roll of her eyes followed. "You're making the tension up in your head."

"It's there Bella…don't sit there and lay it all on me." I smirked, my heart racing as I scooted across the seat until only an inch or so separated us.

"I'm pretty sure you don't need to be that close to me in order for us to have this conversation." She muttered, trying to back away from me.

"Why, does this bother you?" I whispered; my voice low and rough.

"No, no it doesn't." She whispered, her voice faltering as she spoke.

"That's not very believable Bella." I whispered, testing the waters by moving an inch closer. "To me it looks like you're growing pale and that you're about to pass out."

"I haven't had anything to eat recently." She said a little too quickly.

I smiled as I continued to stare at her, my nervousness reaching an all time high as the want to kiss her grew stronger.

"I don't think that's the case either." I said, keeping the distance short between us. "Something tells me that deep down inside, this is driving you crazy and not necessarily in a bad way either."

"Edward, I think you need to back off." She breathed as the cab slowed to a stop in front of the café where we were supposed to be meeting Alice and Jasper.

She reached behind her back and pulled on the door handle, jumping out of the cab as soon as it came to a stop.

"Bella, where do you think you're going!?" I shouted as I threw some bills at the cab driver and hurried after her.

"Leave me alone Edward!" She hollered as she kept walking down the sidewalk, not looking back at me as she spoke.

"No, you and I need to talk this out." I huffed as I reached out and grabbed her arm, pulling her into the alley way between the café and the drugstore next door.

"Well fine, let's figure it out." She said as she wrenched her arm out of my grasp. "This whole situation is completely distracting to me, and honestly it's starting to interfere with work."

"Well I'm sorry for that then."

"Wait, Edward that's not what I meant. That's such a small point on the list; I shouldn't have even said that." Bella breathed, running a hand through her thick hair.

"Then what's going on Bella? You've asked me and now I'm asking you." I said as I leaned against the wall of the building. "I don't think this whole issue lies solely on me."

"Why do you say that?"

"If it was just me Bella, I would have been flirting with myself that first night we met."

The strong wall that she had set up between us began to crumble, whatever meaning she took from what I said hit her hard.

"You drive me crazy, you know that right?" She asked, beginning to pace back and forth nervously. "I shouldn't have these thoughts about you and I end up wanting to kick myself in the ass every time one pops up in my head. I feel so dirty sometimes because of it."

"What exactly are you thinking?" I asked, grasping her arm so I could pull her close to me.

She breathed heavy, her chest rising and fall quickly against mine. Her eyes were wide and her pupils were dilated.

"I can't tell you." She whispered, closing her eyes as I ran my fingers through her dark curls.

"I think you need to find a way to." I let out a large sigh as I rested my forehead against hers.

"There are so many ways that are going through my head right now, none in which are mildly appropriate."

"Why don't you just do it then?"

Her eyes shot open in surprise, the chocolate of her eyes stared straight at me.

"Do…do what?" She stammered.

"Just kiss me."


	5. What Happened?

It all happened so quickly, so quick that I found my body reacting before my mind had a chance to catch up with it. His lips were just as warm and as soft as I had imagined them to be. The combination of his strong grasp, soft cologne scent, and those lips sent my head spinning. I kissed him with such a fury, a fury I never thought I had in me.

I was addicted.

His body pressed firmly against mine as the kiss intensified, my hands finding their way to his messy bronze colored hair.

_God what was I doing?_

"Edward…" I breathed as his lips left mine and made their down to the nape of my neck. "Stop it. We can't do this…"

"Bella, please be quiet." He whispered, placing small kisses up my neck and to my earlobe.

"No, you stop it and you be quiet." I said, pushing on his chest lightly with the palms of my hands.

"I don't get you, you know that?" He breathed heavily as he looked down at me, his browns eyes wide and his hair all a mess from my fingers running through it.

I remained silent as I stared at him, watching the frustration wash over his face. He stood still, staring down at the ground that separated us.

"How can you be so hot and cold with me? That isn't confusing to you is it?" He asked finally, after realizing I wasn't going to say anything.

"Oh course it is." I admitted. "I don't know what to do about it either."

"You have been driving me crazy ever since I met you." He said, beginning to pace back and forth. "Ever since that night that you ended up staying with me at my place, I haven't stopped thinking about you."

"Why is that? Why are you thinking about me when you belong to someone else? Why do you have to put me through this?" I asked, all of the emotion and pent of frustration came pouring out of me. "I don't want to keep dealing with this. I can't keep dealing with this."

"So what do you propose we do about it?" He asked, standing before me with his hands on his hips.

"Leave me alone." I said, shocked by the words that came out of my mouth. "Just go get a cab and go. I don't want to deal with this anymore."

"How can you say that? Especially after you kissed me the way you just did?"

"Temporary moment of insanity I guess."

"That's unbelievable Bella." He chuckled, shaking his head from side to side. "If that's what you want me to believe then that's fine. What other choice do I have?"

I didn't say anything as he turned away from me quickly, immediately heading for the busy street that sat at the end of the alleyway.

"Edward, wait!" I called, running after him as soon as I regained my senses.

"Bella, make up your mind okay? You either want me to go or you do…"

My lips met his as my arms wrapped quickly around his waist, engulfing him immediately into a kiss. He protested at first, but after a moment or two passed he finally gave into temptation. He kissed me back in fury of passion, his feet loosing their ground as he stumbled backwards. He grunted against my lips as his back met the solid metal frame of a car parked along the busy street, his lips never leaving mine.

"Oh it is about time! I thought you two were never going to just let it happen!"

_God damn you Alice. _

Edward and I separated quickly, immediately making a three gap between us. We stared at Alice and Jasper as they made their way down the side walk, our eyes wide.

"Don't stop on our account." Jasper chuckled, clearly amused by the surprised looks on our faces.

"How embarrassing is this?" I asked, leaning against Edward.

"Stay strong." Edward whispered and squeezed my hand as he pulled me towards my two friends.

I was surprised at how quickly he had regained himself, acting as if our embarrassing display of affection had never happened.

"Are you both still hungry for lunch even though you've already had dessert?" Alice asked, winking at me as she held the door open for all of us.

"Don't forget that I am your roommate and you will feel the wrath if you keep this shit up." I muttered as I walked past her into the restaurant.

The reality of what just happened was beginning to sink in, leaving a sick feeling inside of me.

"You're the one swapping spit in the streets."

"That's disgusting Alice." I managed to laugh lightly at my friend's slightly immature comment.

"Yeah, I could say the same thing about you. You naughty girl you, mixing pleasure with work." She wiggled her eyebrows at me, causing me to laugh.

"What can I say?" Edward whispered as he leaned close to Alice. "I'm a bad influence."

He squeezed my hand before walking along side Jasper, the two beginning to chatter excitedly as they walked.

"Girl, now I know what you see in him." Alice sighed, pretending to fan herself. "That man is sexy."

"Don't make me tell Jasper." I muttered, staring after Edward.

"You do that and I'll tell Edward that you're totally smitten." She winked at me, snapping me back into reality.

My lips failed to move as I continued to stare after him, my eyes staring directing at him. He didn't seem to notice. He and Jasper were laughing about something, leaning on each other as they struggled to get the air back into their lungs.

"Did I say something wrong?" Alice asked, poking me in the ribs with the small tip of her pointer finger.

"No," I said as I managed to shake my head.

"Then what's wrong with you? If anything, you should be feeling like you're floating on cloud nine right now."

"Why's that?"

"Oh I don't know, maybe because you or Edward finally made a move. He's gorgeous Bella, and smart and extremely nice."

"Also extremely taken if you hadn't noticed," I grumbled as I turned my back to Edward. The last thing I needed was to fall under the spell of those gorgeous green eyes just as I started to regain my sanity.

"Bella, you really need to let that go." Alice sighed, folding her arms in front of her chest. "At least you are willing to give him the attention he needs. She wouldn't even move with him."

"That doesn't mean that they aren't together Alice."

"That doesn't mean that you guys can't be," she sighed as she stared past me towards Jasper and Edward. "They're staring at us; we should get over there before they realize that you are having a break down."

"I am not having a break down," I said in between deep gulps of air. "I need to get out of here, now."

"Bella, where do you think you are going?" Alice yelled, getting the attention of Jasper and Edward.

I didn't answer as I pushed through the small crowd of people standing at the front of the restaurant, ignoring the irritated glances that I was now getting from them.

**EPOV**

"Where is she going?" I huffed, my lungs searching for air as I finally reached Alice.

"I have absolutely no idea," Alice said quickly as she shook her head from side to side. "What did you do to her?"

"I didn't…" I stopped as the lie got caught about half way up my throat, " I didn't do anything bad."

"Well what DID you do? I'm trying not to think that she had a mental breakdown right in the middle of the restaurant for absolutely no reason."

"Shit," I muttered. "This is all my fault."

"You better go fix it then," Alice nodded in the direction that Bella had just headed in. "Go get her."

I sighed as I stared down at the short, brown haired pixie woman next to me. The look on her face told me that I didn't have any other choice. With a slight push of Alice's hand I was off, hurrying through the growing crowds at the front of the restaurant.

My green eyes searched the busy streets that lay just outside of the restaurant, the groups of people hurrying back and forth in front of me.

"This is like fighting a needle in a haystack," I mumbled. "Come on Bella, you have to be here somewhere."

I began to walk down the bustling sidewalk in hopes to catch a glimpse of her, to see her small frame topped with a head full of heavy chestnut colored curls.

"Come on, come on." I muttered, my eyes not paying attention to what direction I was heading in.

"Edward, watch out!" I felt a hand grasp the back of my shirt as a familiar voice reached my ears, the hand pulling my body backwards. 'What are you doing? Trying to get yourself killed?"

"Bella, what…" I paused as I worked to steady my body, staring ahead at the delivery truck that had almost flattened me as I walked blindly into the street.

"Where did you think you were going?" She scolded as she let go of my shirt.

"I was trying to find you," I said as I straightened out of my shirt. "You just left us back there."

"I'm sorry," she said as she cast her gaze down to the ground. " I just needed to get out of there."

"Is that because of me?" I asked, not really certain that I wanted to know the answer.

"Edward…I don't really know what is going between you and me…but I don't think that it would be a good idea if either of us acted upon it again. You have this separate life that you need to deal with and figure out BEFORE involving another person, and I just can't deal with the guilt that it already has and will continue to bestow upon me."

I remained completely still and quiet as she continued to talk.

"I don't want it to be that way, and that only makes me feel more guilty."

"Bella, this isn't some sort of moral struggle…"

"It is. There is some other person out there that somehow feels that she is still tied to you, and no matter what happens she still feels that you two belong to each other and frankly I don't want to be the reason that that falls apart."

I remained speechless, I couldn't think of anything to say that would make this situation any better.

"Just tell me one thing," I paused as she nodded. "Tell me you didn't feel anything when I kissed you or when my skin met yours for the first time."

"I can't answer that question Edward."

"Edward! Edward, is that you?" A high pitched feminine voice broke my focus on Bella as a feeling of panic shot through me.

_Tanya._ Her name sat heavy in my stomach as she approached me, running at me until our bodies met with such a force that I almost fell over.

"James, what are you doing here?" Bella asked, staring at the blonde woman curiously.

"Tanya and I couldn't find a suitable place to eat and I remembered you and Alice came here all the time, so I figured I would introduce her to some of New York's finest cuisine." James' brown eyes darted between the two of us, "Are we interrupting?"

"No, Bella and I were just going over some details for the story." I gulped, prying Tanya off of my body.

I felt another pan of panic spread through me as I stared at Bella, a look of disgust on her face.

"Baby, I am so proud of you." Tanya squealed as she hugged me again. "I have so much to tell you."

"What are you doing here?" I asked, prying her off of me again.

'Well I thought about it, and I decided I really wanted to try and make this work and if I really wanted to make it work then I would need to make some decisions. I got a job with the paper so I could come out here with you!"

_Oh shit._

"Bella, where are you going? Are you okay?" The man I had come to know as James asked as Bella hurried away from us.

"Yes I'm fine. I just need to get back to the office, I forgot I had a bunch of stuff to get done." She said as she hailed a cab.

"Bella, don't you want to stay?" I asked carefully, trying not to raise any alarm to Tanya.

She stopped as she stepped into the cab, looking at me with sad, dark brown eyes.

"No Edward, I don't."


	6. Going Crazy

***Sorry for those who caught this chapter earlier today. I wasn't satisfied with what I posted before, so I took it down and re-did it. It's much longer this time!! Reviews please!!!!!!!"**

**BPOV**

"So what happened again?" Alice asked, propping her feet up on the coffee table.

"I told you Alice," I sighed as I knocked her feet off of the table before collapsing on the couch next to her. "We were in mid conversation and all of the sudden…there she is. She was all over him too."

"Of course she was, she could sense there was something going on between you two and she had to try to protect him from you."

"I don't think that was it," I shook my head as I folded my arms over my chest. "I should have seen this coming. She spent that whole meeting talking about him and their life together and apparently that wasn't enough for me to figure it out."

"How could you have known Bella? It wasn't like she gave him a name when she was talking about him," Alice shook her head, "Don't blame yourself."

"I put myself in this position. I have every right to sit here and blame myself."

"Has he called?"

"How can he?" I asked, not being able to fight the urge to glance down at my seemingly lifeless cell phone. "If she's there then he won't try it. God I feel so damn dirty."

"Why do you say that?"

"I became the other woman! I told myself that I wouldn't do that to myself or to anyone else, so much for all of that!" I huffed, letting my head fall back against the back of the couch. "And not to mention the fact that I have totally compromised this article for work, not only do I have to try and dodge him but now I have to worry about her sitting there planning their nuptials four feet from me all day."

"Sweetie, work is the least of your problems." Alice snorted, "I say that you need to talk to him. You need to know what I going on with him."

"Alice to be honest, I really don't want to. I want to be done with this whole thing and focus on something that really matters."

"He does matter to you, he's mattered since that morning that you woke up in his apartment."

"Why would you say a thing like that?" I groaned.

"Because if he didn't matter to you, this whole thing wouldn't be driving you nuts right now," Alice smiled that all too familiar smile at me. It was a smile that made it seem like he knew more than I did about what was going on, that she had some special insight.

"I hate it when you do that," I mumbled as I scurried off the couch.

"Like I said before, you know that I'm right."

"Stop doing that!" I yelled from the kitchen as searched for something to eat.

"I will not," she said triumphantly. "I can't help it that you don't want to admit that I'm right, ALL THE TIME."

"Yeah, well I finally think you veered off the path of consistency with this one," I mumbled as I shoved an Oreo into my mouth.

"Over eating won't solve anything either, if anything it will just make things worse." Alice shook her head as she watched me chew, "I say you call him."

"And say what?"

"Tell him blonde has to go and that you're it."

"You make it sound so easy," I said with a roll of my eyes.

"And you do nothing but sit there and make it difficult."

_Touché my beloved and some what irritating room mate._

"I can't do it Alice," I sighed and collapsed back onto the couch.

"Do you want to?" Alice asked, standing right in front of me as she peered down with curious brown eyes.

"Alice, whether I WANT to or not isn't the issue. I cannot sit here and be happy if I am the reason that I am tearing their lives apart."

"Well what happens if they weren't meant to be together?" She paused as I rolled my eyes, "Hear me out before you start making any accusations on what I am saying."

I only huffed and tossed the bag of Oreo's onto the coffee table. I looked like a child in time out as I sat on the couch, my arms folded across my chest as my face wrinkled up like I just ate something sour.

"Are you done?" She asked, pointing her finger at me as I rolled my eyes again. "Now what I was going to say was…what if how you and Edward met, and how you two keep running into each other like that might be some sort of sign?"

"I'm a social drunk and he keeps seeking me out. That doesn't mean a damn thing," I mumbled.

"Bella, stop it. I'm being serious here." Alice huffed.

"So am I!" I exclaimed, sounding a little more frustrated then I should have.

"And you know what; you just answered it for yourself. HE keeps seeking YOU out. Does that not mean anything to you?" Alice's arms flopped heavily to her sides.

"So what if it does? I can't do anything about what he's done or how I feel," I said firmly. "So drop it."

"I will," Alice snorted. "One day you will figure out what I am trying to get through to you and you will act upon it. Until then, feel free to sit here and make yourself miserable."

"Where are you going?" I asked, as she hurried away from me.

"I'm going out to meet Jasper," she mumbled as she scooped her bag up off of the floor. "Have a great time here, BY YOURSELF."

"Alice wait," I hurried off of the couch in an effort to keep up with her.

"What Bella?" She asked, her usual carefree tone was gone from her voice. "I'm not going into this with you anymore." You want to be miserable, so be it."

"Would you mind if I came with you?"

She stared at me for a moment. Both of us stood quiet as I watched the irritation melt off of her face.

"You promise to not be such a pain in the ass? We will be out in public you know."

"I'll do my best to control myself," I smiled.

**EPOV**

The front door slammed as Tanya stormed through the door, balancing a couple of brown paper bags in her arms.

"Do you think you could help me with these?" She asked, standing in the doorway as if she already knew the answer to her question.

I didn't say anything as I fought back the sigh that threatened to escape my lips. My body felt heavier than usual as I drug myself off of the couch.

"I didn't think it would be that easy to get lost in this city," she sighed as she immediately stuffed the bags into my hands. "Did you not get my phone call?"

"My phone is upstairs," I muttered as I followed her into the kitchen. "I had to charge it, remember?"

"I'm pretty sure there are outlets down here Edward," Tanya shook her head as she began to unload one of the bags. "You know I am new here and I have absolutely no idea where I am going."

"I know baby, I'm sorry." The irritated look on her face faded somewhat, giving way to a slight yet noticeable smile.

"No, I should be the one saying sorry. I'm still a little stressed with moving to the big city, and getting work situated while I unpack it's just…"

"Tanya it's okay, I have to learn to be a little more patient." I managed as smile, "We are trying to make living together work too. We both have a lot on our plates right now."

"Oh Edward, I've missed you." A sly smile crossed her lips as sauntered over to him, wrapping her arms around my neck.

I remembered when the scent of her perfume used to drive me nuts, when just a mere whiff of it used to send me over the edge, my body aching to touch her. It was amazing how that managed to flat line without me even realizing it. My mind was elsewhere as her lips began to graze my neck, little to no sensation coming from the contact between us.

_What was going on here?_ I wondered as her lips drifted across the skin of my neck.

The question that kept swimming through my head went unanswered, which only made me feel worse. Things had been changing in a hurry ever since she got here, and not once during this whole process had a sat down to really think about what all of this meant.

Tanya lived here now.

And Emmett, my chaotic voice of reason, was gone. His bedroom gave way to Tanya's office after he decided that we would need some space. Plus I was sure that staying with the beautiful Rosalie was much more appealing then baring witness to me and Tanya's problems.

"Edward, what's wrong?"

I came out of my deep and troubled thoughts with the few words that came from her soft lips. I looked down at see her peering up at me, her face contorted into a look of worry and distress.

"Nothing," I said simply, my hands running up and down her arms.

Something about the look on her face told me that she didn't believe me, like there was something bugging her about a secret I was with holding from her. And I did have a secret, and god what a secret that was.

"Okay," she said with a heavy sigh.

"Tanya look, I…"

"No, it's okay." She said, slowly ducking out of our embrace. "I need to get some work done anyway."

_Great,_ I thought as she brushed past me without even attempting to make eye contact. _Way to keep everything under the radar._

I sighed and leaned against the kitchen counter, tapping my fingers lightly on the granite counter top.

I didn't know what I was supposed to do about all of this. It had barely been twenty four hours and it was already driving me nuts. This was supposed to be easy right? One kiss didn't lead to relationship altering decisions.

_I am being totally irrational,_ I decided. _This is totally ridiculous. _

My feet began to move towards the second bedroom that I had converted into an office in which Tanya had probably settled herself into.

_Or this as ridiculous as I think it is?_ My body came to a sudden halt as that thought crossed my mind.

_What am I doing?_

WHAT was I doing?

My eyes began to dart around the apartment quickly, keeping an eye out for Tanya as the threat of a panic attack stood well on the horizon.

_I have to get out of here._

I turned on my heels quickly, heading down the hallway as quiet and as quick as possible. My gaze was fixed straight ahead as I scooped my keys out of the ceramic bowl that sat atop the hallway table.

This was insane. I never fell apart like this, EVER. I was the one that everybody went to when they had a problem, and now what was I supposed to do? I cursed Emmett for moving out as I headed down the stairs, hoping to see him in his office as soon as my feet would hit the carpeted floor of our studio.

The hallway was dark as I made my way downstairs, pushing through the double glass doors and into the studio. It was dark and quiet as I carefully made my way down the hallway, my eyes darting from room to room as I went.

_It's Saturday you idiot. Emmett hasn't worked a weekend a day in his life, and I'm pretty sure that being self employed isn't going to change that._

Disappointment sat heavy within me as my pace slowed, my eyes resting upon my office. Emmett had made sure that my office was fully equipped, expensive furniture was scattered across the room and was completed with a baby grand piano. I had protested him putting it in there, we had enough musical instruments in the building as it was. The calming feel that I knew that piano would give me wasn't enough to keep me there though; knowing that Tanya was right upstairs wasn't comforting in the slightest.

_But where was I supposed to go?_ _My home is upstairs, with the woman I am petrified to be around._

"Edward?"

I was thrown out of my trance quickly as someone calling my name reached my ears.

_Shit._

"Jasper, what are you…?"

"Doing at my place of business on a Saturday?" Jasper chuckled as he flipped the hallway lights on. "I'm picking up a few things so I can get sketches to the designer on Monday. What are you doing here?"

"Escaping the horrible consequences of my actions," I sighed.

"Well I don't think standing in the dark is going to fix any of this," Jasper continued as he made his way into Emmett's office, leaving the glass door open as he went. "She will find you eventually."

"I know, I know." I pressed my forehead to the glass wall of Emmett's office. "I just couldn't sit there anymore."

"Well I was going to meet Emmett to finalize everything. We were going to meet at the Ale House, you can join if you want."

"I don't think…"

"Before you decline, think about what you will have to deal with if you head back upstairs." Jasper warned as he collected a few folders off of Emmett's desk.

_Damn you Jasper._

"You know I'm right," Jasper chuckled at the irritated look that sat on my face.

"Yeah, you and your other half seem to be good at that."

"Just come out with us and relax for a little, you look like you are going to explode. Just have a drink or two and settle down," Jasper nodded towards the front entrance to the studio. "Alice will wonder what I did to you if they walk in here and find you huddled in the coat closet."

_Sad, but yea…that could happen,_ I chuckled to myself.

"Alright, alright you win." I sighed, deciding that avoiding any other sort of argument was probably a good way to go. "Let's get out of here."

"So is life with Tanya that bad?" Jasper asked as soon as we were out on the busy sidewalk.

"It shouldn't be," I frowned. "She's perfect. She's beautiful and smart and faithful…"

"It's Bella isn't it?" Jasper grinned as he walked around to the driver's side of his car, "She got to you."

"I think you knew the answer to that," I said as I climbed into the passenger seat. "The last time you saw either of us, we had our tongues down each others throats."

"I figured I would let you do the talking before I gave you my opinion. Letting you recall everything is kind of therapeutic, it gives you a chance to get everything out."

"Okay Dr. Phil," I chuckled, receiving a somewhat irritated look from Jasper.

"I'm being serious Edward, you have a lot of shit to figure out and not a lot of time to do so."

"You don't think I know that?" I huffed, running my hands through my thick hair. "It's been a mere twenty four hours and I am going insane."

"You are in love with two beautiful women Edward. I would want to run into two different places at once," Jasper chuckled.

"God, I am in love with her aren't I?" I groaned, letting my hands slide from my hair and down in front of my eyes.

"Which 'her' are you referring to?"

"Bella," I said cautiously. I was afraid to look over at Jasper; it would only make me more nervous.

"So now that you have that figured that out, what are you planning on doing about it?"

"I'm supposed to be asking you that," I grumbled.

"Edward, come on. What are you thinking right now?"

"I'm thinking I'm a dirt bag," I said as I rubbed my eyes. "I'm sitting here teeming over another woman, while I have one that I live with and am engaged to for Christ sake. And they work together! I don't think this can get any worse."

"Do you love Tanya?"

My hands dropped from my face as he asked me that question. I didn't know the answer.

_Oh god, I don't know._

"I don't know," I thought aloud. "What does that mean if I don't know?"

"Well that's easy; you just have to look at it a little deeper." Jasper gripped the steering wheel tightly as traffic grew thicker.

"How do you mean?"

"Love is pretty black and white Edward. You either love someone or you don't. If you don't know then there's a big red flag."

"And what do I do with said flag?"

"Evaluate it," Jasper said with a shrug. "You need to figure out what is causing that doubt in your heart. You might surprise yourself. It could have been there longer than you thought."

"I don't know, that doesn't sound right." I shook my head, still deep in thought. "I think this all has something to do with meeting Bella. Maybe I'm just scared or bored with things with Tanya."

"I'm not sure it's a good thing that you guys are 'bored' with each other after her only being back in the city for a day. And besides, you guys are engaged. That's supposed to be an exciting and passionate time for two people. How do you feel about it?"

"Nothing," I said quietly. "I'm not nervous, I'm not excited. I'm not anything. It's just something that I know is there, something that is going to have to be dealt with."

"Marriage isn't dealt with Edward," Jasper frowned at my choice of words. "You're not looking at this in the way you are supposed to."

"I know, and that's the problem." I sighed and let my head fall back against the head rest of the seat. "I can't be doing this though. I can't sit here and fuck up a well established relationship because some pretty girl walks by. That's asinine and completely torturous. Who says that if I act upon this, that it is going to change anything? Who says that I won't keep doing this to myself?"

"Edward, sometimes finding the one you are meant to be with is a trying process. You learn a lot of shit about yourself and the others you are involved with, but you have to work it out."

"And how do you suggest I do that?" I asked, irritated by his vivid messages.

"Only you know that Edward," he said and laughed once again at the irritated look I had on my face. "You have identified the issues at hand, and how it's time to way your pros and cons."

"I can't decide my future by making some list," I said as I fought the urge to sigh again.

"It's a figure of speech Edward, come on." Jasper sighed as he pulled into the parking garage that sat just a block from the Vine Street Ale House.

"I know, I'm sorry about that. I am just driving myself mad with this whole thing. I have never been in this situation before."

"There is a first time for everything," Jasper said, causing me to laugh.

"You should write fortune cookies for a living not design marketing campaigns."

"Watch it, or you guys might be looking for a new marketing manager."

"So, what do I do now?" I asked as Jasper pulled the car into the first available spot.

"Again, that's not up to me." Jasper sighed as he slipped the car into park and pulled the keys from the ignition, "You just have to remember one important thing here."

I remained quiet as I looked over at him, uncertain if I wanted to know what else he had to say.

"You chased after her remember? Right from the beginning you were after her. You might want to think about that when you're considering everything that is going on. She means something to you, and regardless of what that thing is…she has had you attention and has had you wanting more since the very beginning…."


	7. Why?

**EPOV**

_How did everything get to this point?_ I wondered, leaning back in my chair as my gaze remained focus straight ahead of me.

I wasn't paying the slightest bit of attention to the conversation that was going on between Jasper and Emmett at the table next to me. Ever since I had had that conversation with Jasper on the way to the restaurant we were now sitting in, my mind had wondered elsewhere.

"_It could have been there longer than you thought-" _I remembered him saying.

That since sentence made the wheels in my head start turning…through all of the hustle of me moving to New York and all the work it took to get the business started…that I had possibly managed to disconnect myself from Tanya without even noticing it was going on.

_But how long had it been going on? _

I thought all the way back to the day that Tanya and I first met. She was beautiful, and sill is for a matter of fact, but there was something else about her that day. I remembered sitting in a small coffee shop that rested in the heart of campus when she walked elegantly through the front doors. I sat in the corner of the coffee shop, completely buried in a pile of books and papers.

It was finals week, and I was damn near close to being done with this semester. Only two more exams stood in my way from continuing the practice of law, or should I say that they would determine whether I should be considered to continue practicing law…

"Hi."

I looked up, startled by the closeness of the person who spoke. The beautiful woman that I had watched walk into the coffee shop now stood in front of me, her brown eyes staring down into mine. She was just as beautiful up close. Her skin was smooth ad flawless, her long hair framed her face in a golden glow.

It seemed like from that one single word that everything shot forward. We went out on several dates in a short time frame. It was only a few short days before I kissed her, and just a few short weeks before she told me she loved me.

It all seemed so surreal. I didn't think I could feel that way about anyone. I made her my world, spending all of my free time away from studying with her. We seemed to get along well, having just the same small quarrels that every other couple has. The days turned into weeks, the weeks turned into months, and before I knew it an entire year had passed. Things were continuing to progress nicely, and at that point she began sniffing around the idea of marriage.

I don't really know what I felt about the whole thing, which I guess isn't helping me much in my current situation. The idea of marriage was something I hadn't really thought about, but wasn't completely closed off to the idea. I just thought that there was supposed to be somewhat of a fairytale aspect to the whole thing. Some well and thought out proposal, followed by excited calls to family and friends. But I took the back burner as soon as I proposed, sitting back and watching Tanya as she immediately started planning 'her' big day. I wasn't sure if what I was feeling was normal or not, I had nothing to compare it to. I mean, wedding details were supposed to be up to the bride for the most part right?

I let it go for a little while, whether it was a good idea or not. And then, the bottom dropped out…

I remembered getting a call from Emmett that day. He was so excited I barely got a word in until he got everything out. He was talking so fast though, it took me a minute after he spoke to register it all. There were mentions of Jasper and a meeting at the bank, and something about 'finally being able to go after our dream.'

The dream he spoke of was one filled with music and creativity, something I had secretly been working on as a hobby for years. I had always had an itch to work on music full time, instead of sneaking down to the living room to play my guitar once Tanya was asleep.

"It wasn't practical," she had said, "And it isn't something that is going to support our family one day."

She gave me a lot of shit for it, for the whole music thing. Apparently being creative meant I wasn't allowing myself to grow up, which of course wasn't suitable for the adventure we were about to start. And needless to say, she wasn't happy when she caught wind of Emmett's phone call.

"_I can't believe you Edward, why would you want to give up a promising future in law for some music gig?"_ Her dark and angry eyes dug into me as she paced back and forth in front of me.

"_Tanya please, just sit down and let me finish."_ I pleaded.

"_This is finished Edward. I have no idea why you would sit here and tell me you're going to give up what you have been working on for the past two years for a big risk. And right before we get married and get ready to start the next chapter of our lives! How dare you! This is going to ruin everything."_

_I stood silent for a moment, trying to contain and sooth the feeling of anger that rose within me. loosing my head wasn't going to help anything._

"_Don't you want me to be happy?" I asked quietly, not looking at her as I spoke._

"_Don't you want US to be happy…?"_

Idiot, it should have been over right then and there.

But instead of following my instincts I became quiet, letting myself believe that we could work everything out. I thought that I knew what love was then, and that whatever this 'love' was would win me over too. We were together for so long and had gone through so much, it felt wrong to not pursue a life with her.

And now here I sat, engaged and in trouble.

"Edward, man what is that look for?"

I immediately sat up from my reclined position in my chair, my eyes immediately meeting Emmett's face, a sly smirk on his face.

"Yeah, Edward…you've been in a funk ever since we got here," Jasper piped in, "What's eating you?"

"Nothing," I muttered. I knew I wasn't fooling either one of them, but I wasn't in the mood for any more talks about this whole thing.

_The battle was all mine now._

Neither one of them had a chance to retaliate as Alice entered the restaurant is the same fury of emotion and energy that she always carried.

"Sorry I'm late," she huffed as she reached our table, "It wasn't as easy to get out the door today as I thought."

"I see you forgot to put your face on in all of the chaos." Emmett chuckled, immediately receiving a smack in the back of the head from Alice.

"You're such an ass, you know that right?" Alice folded her arms over her chest as she glared down at him, "I was talking about Bella."

My ears perked up at the sound of her name, my eyes immediately began searching the room for her.

"Well where is she?" Emmett asked, glancing over at me before turning his attention back to Alice.

"Outside on the phone," Alice said with a roll of her eyes. "She agrees to come out and then spends the entire car ride here talking with James."

"Well in that case, I'm going out and getting some air for myself." I said, hurrying out of my chair and pushing my way through the side door to the restaurant without taking a glance behind me.

The cool air rushed over my skin as I burst through the glass doors, stepping out onto the cobblestone patio that was attached to the side of the restaurant. I slipped my sunglasses on as I continued walking, not stopping until reached the wrought iron railing that surrounded the patio.

I leaned against the railing as my hand grazed my left pants pocket, tracing the outline of the square box that sat inside.

_I shouldn't_- the voice of reason inside my head told me- _But god if I couldn't use it by now._

A heavy sigh escaped my lips as I pushed the voice out of my head, allowing my fingers to slip inside my pocket and pull the box out.

"You know you shouldn't be doing that right?"

**BPOV**

He turned around quickly, staring at me wide eyed like a child who just got caught doing something bad.

"It helps me relax," he said calmly, removing one of the cigarettes from the carton before returning the box to his pocket. "What are you doing out here?"

"We're getting ready to order," I said with a simple shrug of my shoulders, "We need you back in inside."

"Can you give me a minute?" He asked, igniting the lighter he now held in his hand.

"Why don't you save yourself the risk of getting cancer and come inside and get some food?"

_Easy Bella, you wont make friends by being too brazen with him._

"it will just be a minute Bella, I just need to decompress a little."

"You could do that with a drink and a couple of good laughs." I retorted, walking over to him and removing the cigarette from between his perfect pink lips.

"I see you're not going to let that go are you?" He smiled at me.

_God that smile,_ I thought as I felt my body start to quiver some.

"Probably not," I managed a smile. I let the cigarette drop from my fingers, and immediately stepped on it once it hit the hard ground.

_Easy girl, don't show any signs of weakness._

"And why not?" he sighed, seeming somewhat annoyed with me now.

"Because you know Emmett will be pissed if you walk in there smelling like an ashtray and frankly I don't feel like getting yelled at for letting you smoke. Why are you so stressed anyway?"

He stared at me, and a heavy feeling of blame sat within me began to settle into my stomach. The way he looked at me made me feel like I was somewhat responsible for whatever was going on inside of him.

He shifted his weight slightly as he rested his back against railing.

"I'm at a crossroads Bella, and frankly I don't know what to do about it. And I'm starting to panic a little because I am completely unsure as to how I should handle it."

"Am I one of the paths that you could choose?"

I knew immediately. He looked right at me and I knew what his answer was.

"I don't want to cause an issue for your Edward, I told you that from the beginning. And I have been keeping myself away from you just for that reason."

"Just because you aren't around me, doesn't mean I don't think about you Bella."

I froze-that wasn't what I wanted to hear.

He seemed so sure when he spoke, and that large amount of confidence caught me off guard. My mind searched desperately for something to say as I stared at him, something that would make him think differently.

"You don't know me," I said finally. _Great Bella, that was super._

"Maybe I want to get to know you," he sighed as his eye closed for just a moment. "Maybe what I do know and what I'd love to find out is enough to keep you in my thoughts."

"You cant say any of this to me Edward, you just cant." I was pacing back and forth in front of him now, my hand running through my hair nervously. "I told you I wasn't going to let me or what you think of me get in the way of what you have with Tanya. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did."

"You keep saying that Bella, but have you tried to look at it from my perspective? What if you were helping me think things through a little bit clearer?" I watched as his eyes darted from mine, down to the floor, and back up again as his mind sought out a way to say what he needed to say.

"Edward, please take a moment and listen to yourself. What kind of reasoning is that?" I scolded, shaking my head from side to side.

"I know it sounds crazy"- he said finally- "But hear me out. She may have been what I THOUGHT I needed, but when you came along you showed me what I REALLY needed."

"I told you flat out that I am not going to be the reason that the two of your split and I stand by that decision," I stopped pacing and stared directly into his beautiful green eyes.

"Bella you have no control over that. If I decided that I wanted to break up with her, then that's my decision"- He almost seemed angry by what I was saying- "Regardless of whether it has anything to do with you or not."

"It's the point of KNOWING that I'm the cause."

Edward frowned as a blanket of silence fell over us. We were both trying to be right. We stood behind both of our strong points with a few feet of tension separating us.

I didn't know what to do. Part of me wanted to give in to what he was saying, to let the feelings that had been building up inside of me out. But I couldn't, I refused to be that type of woman. And I got angry at myself for thinking like that, and for letting my mind slip back to the night we first met.

I wanted to feel the soft skin of his hand graze my cheek, to smell the light scent of his cologne as he lay one a few inches away from me. The sense of peacefulness and affection that I felt that night was hard to forget, and even harder to resist. But I had to.

"Edward, we have to get inside. They are going to come looking for us soon," I said quietly, turning slowly and starting for the door.

"Bella, please…"Edward pleaded as he reached out and grasped onto my forearm, stopping me just as I reached the door. "Don't leave it like this."

"We don't have a choice Edward," I said, still not facing him. "We can't do this."

"Why can't we?" He asked quietly.

I sighed, letting my eyes fall closed as a feeling of pain built up inside of me. _Why did this have to hurt so much?_

"I am not going to live with the idea of causing someone else so much pain just so I can be with someone," I took a deep breath before turning around to face him, "There is no way I could get any satisfaction from that."

"Bella, sometimes we have to go through things that we don't really want to so we can be where we want to be. What if you and I were meant to be together?"

His green eyes locked onto mine. Time seemed to stand still as he stared at me, like all of the noise and hustle of the city disappeared.

"If you and I were meant to be together…"

_Just do it Bella, you have to._

"…Then why did you lie to me when we first met?"


	8. Check & Mate

_Say something,_ I pleaded with myself. _Say anything._

"Well?" Bella asked, folding her arms across her chest.

I couldnt speak, no matter what came to mind. Every thought that appeared in my mind didn't seem like the right thing to say, like it wouldn't be what she wanted to hear. But of course nothing I say would be right, there was not one thing that would fix this.

"That's what I thought," she scoffed. She turned on her heels quickly and started towards the busy street, her hand shooting up immediately in an effort to flag down a cab.

"Bella, wait." I pleaded as I took off after her, "I have something to say."

She let her hand fall to her side as she turned around slowly, her perfectly shaped chest rising and falling as she took a deep breath.

"What is it Edward?" She asked, her voice flat and cold.

"I know what I did wasn't right, and honestly I'm still not completely sure I why I decided to handle it the way that I did. But I couldn't run the risk of loosing you."

"You never HAD me Edward," she spat, "All we had was this game that we kept playing with one another. And when we finally decided to act on it, you broke all the rules anyway. You should have been honest with me, regardless of how you felt about me. Keeping things from me only made things worse, and I'm surprised you didn't see that."

"Bella, I know I'm in the wrong here okay? I accept that. But I came here to restart my life and..."

"How is restarting your life leaving your fiancee in another state while you start running around and chasing after me?"

_Check._

I sighed, letting my eyes flutter shut as I ran a hand through my hair. What could one say to that?

"Bella, from the moment I laid eyes on you I fell for you. And that feeling only grew as I started to get to know you and be around you. It became something I always wanted to have and felt I could never be without. And when we kissed, Bella, you can't tell me you didn't feel that spark that I felt."

"The only thing I feel from that moment now is regret," she said, diverting her gaze from me as she spoke. "I allowed myself to take a chance, against any sort of hesitation I felt or the red flags I ignored and..."

"Hey lady! Do you need a ride or what?"

We both turned to see a bright yellow cab pulled up against the curb, an older balding man sitting in the drivers seat.

"I have to go," she said quietly, "And please don't follow me this time."

**BPOV**

I looked away quickly. The pain that flashed across his face as I spoke was too much for me to handle.

_Don't worry Edward, this hurts me too._

My body took over as my mind continued to try to process everything I was feeling, as I spun around on my heels and headed towards the cab.

"Bella, Bella where are you going?"

It wasn't Edward this time. As much as I hated myself for wishing that it was.

"Go back inside Alice," I said, not turning around as I spoke.

"Not until you tell me what's going on," she said, placing her delicate hand over mine as I reached for the door handle.

"I don't really feel like talking about it right now Alice," I grumbled, pulling my hand out from under hers. "Just let me go home."

"Okay, we can talk on the way." Alice said, pulling the cab door open and climbing inside.

"I meant alone," I grumbled and climbed into the cab.

"I'm not letting you run off," she said as she patted the seat, "I saw that look on Edwards face. I know something is going on. And honestly, I think it's about time that we actually talk about it."

"There's nothing to talk about," I sighed as I rested my head against the cool glass window.

"Stop bullshitting me Bella," she paused as I looked over at her in surprise, "You've been a random ball of emotions since you met Edward. And honestly I'm worried."

"I'll be fine Alice, he was just another lying asshole."

"And it's all my fault that you were introduced to that asshole," Alice said quietly, shaking her head from side to side.

"Don't blame yourself for that please."

"There is no one else to blame but myself. I pressed Emmett to bring him so you wouldn't felt left out when we all went out, and we thought it would be cute if we managed to get you guys togther."

"Emmett didn't know what was going on with him?"

Alice frowned, "He didn't have a clue. He kept talking about starting over, and how much he wanted to come out here to start his life. And Tanya didn't come up, not once. So he just figured he had finally let her go."

_Well, you know what happens when you assume..._

"I'm sorry Bella."

I looked over at her as her usually strong voice cracked. She was staring down at her hands that rested in her lap, a single tear rolled down her cheek.

"Alice no, please don't be upset." I frowned, resting a hand on my friends tiny shoulder. "You had no idea any of this was going on, so you can't blame yourself for it."

"But what's going to happen now? I mean we are doing a freaking piece on him, and we work with his fiancee now! Look at the mess I made! And I forced you into all of this," she paused to sniffle, " I had no right to do any of this."

"Alice, please don't blame yourself." I said rubbing her shoulder gently, "This isn't going to affect anything. I am going to go about my job in a professional matter and as for Tanya... well I'm considering transferring once this story is finished."

"Transferring?" She said, looking up at me in surprise. "What do you mean transferring?"

"As soon as I found out who Tanya was, and what her coming here was going to mean for me and honestly I don't think it would be wise for me to stay."

"Why do you have to go? Why can't they transfer her out?"

"James loves her Alice, and whether I'd like to admit it or not, the girl has promise."

"Well so do you."

"Thank you," I said, managing a smile. "But that doesn't mean I won't get a glowing recommendation letter out of this."

"Well, I can't tell you no. Nor can I say that I blame you," Alice shrugged, " But honestly that scares me a bit."

"Why?"

"We've been a team since you came here, and it will be so weird without you here."

I couldn't help but smile at her honesty. And she was right, it had been me and her since the beginning of my stay here in New York.

"Alice, you know you'll still be my best friend. Regardless of where this transfer idea puts me."

"I know," she sighed, wiping her eyes, "It's just going to be so strange."

_Strange is right, _ I thought, suddenly afraid of the uncertainty that lay ahead for me. But considering how everything was now, and how much worse it could get...what other choice did I have?

**EPOV**

_And they say Vegas is the city that never sleeps._ I thought, leaning heavily against the railing of my balcony. The streets of New York City were still bustling for the late night hour that it was.

"Edward, what are you still doing out here?"

_And she found me,_ I thought bitterly, not bothering to turn around.

"I'm just getting some air."

"You've been out here for hours," Tanya said, stomping across the balcony until she stood at my side. "We have a lot we need to do today and I don't have a lot of free time."

"What else do we need to do Tanya?" I said, continuing to watch the headlights of cars passing by on the street below.

"Well I kind of thought that we could maybe talk about the wedding, considering that we haven't talked about it since before you left for New York." She huffed, leaning against the railing so she could face me.

_The wedding, _I thought as I stared at her.

"What? We have a lot to do," she said, folding her arms to her chest.

_Is she crazy?_ I thought, continuing to stare at her. _ What did she get out of all of the arguing we've been doing since she get here? Hell, before that for crying out loud._

"Tanya, I don't think that that is such a good idea."

"Excuse me? What do you mean it isn't a good idea?" She said, her forehead wrinkling in frustration. "I would think that planning our future would be a little important to you."

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "I'm not sure how much of a future we have."

"Edward, what are you trying to say?" She asked, her voice full of anger instead of fear.

"It means, we need to talk about where this is going."

"I think that's pretty obvious," she said with a roll of her eyes, "You gave me a ring, which essentially means we are getting married."

"I know," I said as I pushed off the railing, "But Tanya we haven't been getting along. All we do is argue when we are around each other, and that's not something that is healthy for maintaining a marriage."

"Everybody has issues."

"Not like we do."

"So what are you saying? You don't want to get married anymore?"

"It's not just that, I don't think we should be together anymore."

Everything fell silent. Normally in situations like this, there was more sadness and tears. That was completely absent in Tanya. She stared at me with such anger it shocked me, it almost looked like she wanted to rip my head off.

"So that's it? You just want to give up because we had a few arguments? Are you kidding me? I moved out here for you! So we could start the next part of our lives together." She shouted, pushing past me so she could reenter the apartment.

"You came out here without telling me," I said, reluctantly following her inside.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know I had to give my fiance notice when I was coming to live with him," She spat.

"Do you remember the conversation we had before we left? About my career and how full of shit I was for pursuing what I actually was interested in?" I chuckled darkly, "You practically threw the ring at me on the way out the door."

"I was just angry, I didn't mean it."

_Are you serious? How can you not take threatening to give it back if I left seriously?_

"You sure as hell sounded like you meant it."

"So what now, you're just going to leave?"

"This is my and Emmett's place Tanya," I said, leaning against the wall and placing my hands in my pocket.

"You can't seriously want me to leave," she scoffed.

"I think that would be best Tanya," I said quietly.

"Edward...I...what brought this on?"

"Well besides what we talked about earlier...I don't know Tanya, with all of the issues, I'm just not in love with you anymore."


	9. A Step Towards Moving On

**1 MONTH LATER**

**BPOV**

"God I can't believe you're actually leaving," Alice frowned, propping her small pixie like frame up in the doorway of what used to be my bedroom. "I didn't believe it until now."

"Hey this is just goodbye for now, not forever." I crossed the room quickly and immediately wrapped her in a hug as I saw the tears begin to weld up in her eyes.

"I know, but this place is going to be so lonely without you now." Alice sniffled as she squeezed me tight, "I'm not going to know what to do with myself."

"Oh now come on," I managed a smile as we let go of one another, "I know Jasper is going to ask you to move in with him sometime in the near future."

"Yea I kind of got that feeling myself," she smiled back, "He keeps asking if I would like certain furniture and things he's been looking at buying when the label really takes off."

"See, there you go." I sighed as the impatient horn of the taxi driver sounded from the street below. "I guess that's my cue."

"I love you Bella, call me as soon as you land okay?" Alice pleaded, giving me one final hug before scooting me towards the door.

"You know I will, as soon as I can." I said, resting my hand on the door handle.

"And Bella..." she paused, a somewhat timid look washed over her face, "You should say goodbye to him."

"Alice, I haven't talked to him in over a month and frankly I would like to keep it that way." I said as I pulled the door open, " I'll let Emmett do that when he gets back from getting me settled. The day all of that went down out on the street, was the day I said goodbye to him."

**EPOV**

"Are you sure you don't want to come?" Emmett asked for the third time in the past hour, "I think you could get her to stay if you did."

"By saying what Emmett? 'Sorry I didn't tell you about my fiance while I was making out with you in the middle of a New York alley way?' " I scoffed, and let my body fall against the back of Emmett's black leather couch.

"By apologizing," he paused as I rolled my eyes, "And telling her that you really do love her."

"Like she'll believe me," I muttered.

"You won't know until you try Edward."

"I think I'll pass," I said, letting a sad chuckle escape my lips, "I think I've had enough rejection and dismissal lately."

"And that's all you're going to keep getting if you don't quit having a pity party and do something about it," Emmett sighed, folding his large arms over his broad chest.

"Just go," I said, waving him away with my left hand.

"If that's what you want then that's fine. But honestly I think you're making a big mistake."

"That's all I've been doing since I got to New York, Emmett. All I've been doing is pretending to be someone I'm not, and doing a damn good job at hurting those close to me." I slowly lifted myself off of the back of the couch, letting my head fall into my hands as soon as I was upright.

"Then fix it, that's all I'm trying to tell you. You can't fix how things went with Tanya, but you still have a shot with Bella. It may take some time for her to trust you against, but honestly if she's worth it...then fight for her."

"She needs to do what is the best for her," I said, rubbing my over tired eyes. "She's been doing fine since we stopped talking and I shouldn't do anything to interrupt her happiness. I've done enough of that lately. She needs to do this, she needs to do what is going to make her happy. And that doesn't include me anymore."

Emmett only stared at me, an overwhelming look of sadness had darkened his usually bright features. He was realizing that he was loosing the battle, and that my mind had been made up.

"I'll be back by Tuesday," he said as he cleared his throat, " Just make sure you or Jasper gets the media packages over to the publisher by Monday."

I only nodded. There was nothing either one of us could say at this point.

He returned a small nod before heading out the front door of his and Rosalie's apartment, his footsteps heavy in defeat.

I immediately regretted being as mean to him as I had been. I knew that friends didn't treat each other like that, and all he had been trying to do was help. Yet the battle that was barreling down on my heart had one...leaving nothing but bits and pieces of it behind.

_What was I thinking? _ My mind screamed at me. _ You should go with him. GO. Go before its too late._

I stood up slowly as the thoughts ran through my mind at an alarming rate. I only had two choices, both in which had half a chance of ending badly.

_Fuck it. _ I thought as my feet moved quickly across the hardwood floor towards the door. _Just do it. What more do you have to loose?_

I had plenty to loose, but I wasn't about to let my insecure thoughts stop me. I had one chance to fix this, and that chance was now,

I ran as quick as I could, tearing through the apartment and down the stairs and out into the busy streets. My green eyes darted around the crowds of people that were always present on a New York city street.

"Emmett! Wait!" I huffed as I rustled up the energy to keep running down the concrete sidewalk towards the large parking garage next that rested right next to Rosalie's apartment building.

"I knew you'd come," Emmett grinned.

"You did?" I breathed, my lungs desperately searching for air.

"Why in the hell do you think I took my sweet ass time getting out here?" He chuckled.

"Well you better hurry the hell up now," I said, a smile tugging at my lips.

Emmett smiled, motioning for me to follow him as he hurried into the parking garage.

My stomach was knotted with mixed feelings of excitement and fear as I followed closely behind him.

This was my chance.


End file.
